I guess you could abbreviate this stat to BBC

~Blowjobs are Free, Pepsi is Not~

If they did that at my work they would just end up recording 12 people making the up and down hand motion that signifies (male) masturbation. “Listen to this guy...”

A friend of mine got fired for not understanding quite how mute works. During a sales presentation, the clients went on mute to privately conference on the pitch, and she blurted out, “What a Bunch of Fucking Idiots!” Needless to say, they did not get the business.

I worked at a small office with a crappy phone system. Picked up to dial out and couldn’t get dial tone. Mind you this happened regularly due to the sketchy phone. I was repeatedly trying to hang it up and it would not give me a dial tone. I cursed a blue streak and discovered there was a customer on the other end. He…

Scene: Conference call between major toy brand and my agency, second month into my first-ever job.

Oh I went all hot and then cold reading this.

I call my penis Tiger Woods. Just like Tiger, hot blondes women in their 20's don’t want to see it naked anymore, it hasn’t won a golf tournament in years and the hard center of it is broken so it kind of tilts to one side.

They spoke out and are having their day in court. Of course a judge would issue a gag order, and rightfully so, to ensure as fair a trial as possible considering all the publicity this case has gotten. This is normal and there really isn’t anything here to be outraged about.

Rumor has it the cheerleaders were also part of a pyramid scheme.

Of course police told them they did nothing wrong; prostitution is completely legal in Horry County.

Hypocriticus Ch. 3:18 “And Jesus said unto the blind man, Verily, verily, I say unto you: That shit is not my problem.”

Then I got hammered the next day and forgot to put it away. Ice Cream cakes are bad.

Got hammered once and woke up with this in my freezer.

Will Gallipoli have the Aussies as a playable faction? I want to be called a cunt for playing badly.

Never thought I’d have context for this

My brother is a DACA permit holder. He’s worried, our family is worried. I will go to jail if they try to remove him from my house.

He can’t even ban people from certain countries, much less do anything to naturalized citizens. They already tried to hit green card holders, and it’s already part of what was declared Unconstitutional.

Hopefully the recent court decisions that show while Trump may be president, he is not king, will give your parents hope. What a terrible time we live in when this idiot’s main concern is tearing families apart. Stay safe and although we’ve never met, I so much care for the well being of you and your family.