this-is-why-i-drink
this-is-why-i-drink
this-is-why-i-drink

I did, Chewie has the ultimate sorrow-wail.

So true. I work at a bookstore and there’s one thing incredibly consistent about sales of Franzen’s ‘Purity’; 9/10 the guy that buys it will be a version of Jeffery Wells. It’s a running joke among the staff...never flirt with a Franzen fan. Also a red flag author- Joshua Cohen. Ugh.

On a road trip when I was a tiny, my dad said something about how we were entering “the bread basket of america”. I asked why it was called that and he told me that these:

re: madonna - saw her perform at Coachella in like 2012. It was awful. She refused to play the main tent for some reason so 30K people tried to cram into a side-stage tent. She was an hour late and played (poorly) for 45 minutes and when people started booing as she left the stage, she threw beer on the front row fans

I liked this - it was just the right level of ridiculous, creepy and saccharine. Carly really lived up to what I would have expected of her. I truly believe that shooting a promo with a pile of puppies should be a requirement for every candidate. In light of that, here’s my prediction of how that would go for each of

I don’t know what The Moody Bible Institute is but I hope it’s where people study the angsty side of Jesus.

I hate this syrupy pink pile of pee-poo and everything it represents. But I love Veep. The fact that the creator is behind it really bums me out.

Somehow, even though I am a devout Jezebelian, I have avoided ever seeing a single clip of this show...until today. I couldn’t resist this ‘60 year old mother of six pretends she doesn’t understand how fertility works’ scenario.

When my sister was four, I told her that the wardrobe in our basement was the actual real one that would lead her to Narnia someday. I thought it would help her invest in the story as I was reading it outloud to her every night, and it did! We had such fun.

It’s bizarre to me that a man would think “I need to pass on my family legacy, it’s my duty” and I would say “me too!” and he would think I was out-of-order.

You are so right on about it being similar to alcohol...the last time I went through a really bad breakup, I was worried I would drown my sorrows and do something stupid...so instead I committed to a super intense 10 day juice cleanse.

Oh, I hear you.

haha, sorry, I was like two cups deep when I replied - what I meant was:

::gasp:: haven’t seen that in at least a decade, must watch again immediately.

I wouldn’t because she was a librarian-turned-career-wife and when she was in the spotlight as first lady, she inspired no confidence that she had any personal goals of her own. I think that’s what a lot of people liked about her and likely what makes them uncomfortable with women like Hillary or Michelle.

He couldn’t make it to the ranch this year because he’s on a private casino plane circling international waters offshore of Macau - I heard he’s gambling with the passports of actual Qatari slave laborers instead of cash but that’s just a rumor.

Poor little guy. Puberty just never really took, huh?

BUT RUBIO IS SO TERRIBLE AT EVERYTHING, INCLUDING SPEAKING WORDS OUT-LOUD! HOW CAN HE POSSIBLY BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY BY ANY ADULT? HOW CAN THEY THINK HE WOULD KNOW HOW TO NEGOTIATE WITH PUTIN OR READ THROUGH A TRANSIT SYSTEM BUDGET ANALYSIS AND COMPREHEND IT?