I try. I try so hard with Kanye, because I think some of the shit that is rained down on him has at least a little to do with the color of his skin, but good lord that man is a full-fledged man-child asshole. It’s like performance art at this point, but really bad performance art where the guy stands in the middle of…

Waiting???? Anyone???

He is very funny/charming and a better actor than the material he often gets because he is handsome. Jude Law had some of that same issue, and look what a receding hairline did for his career.

I totally understand where you’re coming from, but Spain has been all over local news as one of the schools that so quickly went downhill because of DPS neglect it brought attention to the need for emergency help and subsequent teacher sick-outs and spurred protests across the district. If these teachers get any help…

I don’t give a shit about Ryan Reynolds BUT I WILL WATCH (almost) ANY SUPERHERO MOVIE THEY THROW AT ME. I don’t even care if they are dumb. I don’t even care if the acting is sub-par. I wanna see some good guys fight some bad guys, preferably with a lot of flying-through-the-air acrobatic fight scenes. Bonus points…

This makes me feel bad that I copied that “escape” font onto the bag that I hand prisoners (chained to pipes) in my twisted murder dungeon. It holds the saw that they will use for the physical and psychological games I inflict. I loved the idea as sort of an “on the nose” joke and so I copied it onto the bags (because…

Except for Dr. Oz maybe.

“Keep over low flame, season to taste.”

So Kristen Stewart is....Taken?

The Puritan Backroom is also the name of my Salem Witch Hunt-themed gay sex dungeon.

You know I’m torn on this! As a woman and person of color it’s great for ME. I mean how nice will it be to just be handed a high paying writers gig without doing any work at all or having any talent, you know? I could call up a few late night shows and have a job tomorrow, no resume or writing samples required!

I mean, if she had said “if women don’t want to get raped, they should stop drinking so much and making themselves victims,” we shouldn’t cherish that sentiment just because she used her own Kali Ma’ed uterus to personally slap Hitler across the face or whatever. We can respect her for her struggles and…

Candy is now going to tell a new story about the nice lesbian couple they met in New Hampshire, and how she and Ben managed to help you see the error of your ways by taking you out for ice cream and a long chat.

“I’m being punished.”

Could be worse.

Oh my GOD, Steinem. How is this helping?!?

I don’t think Elizabeth Warren is boy-crazy, Steinem. I don’t think far-left women are boy-crazy. I think they’re just socialist.

Sorry to be “that person” at the party, but I can’t get onboard with mocking this kid. Her convicted criminal parents have forced her to be on tv since she was little, I can’t help but pity her.

It’s tempting to like Megyn Kelly because she gets into feuds with douchebags about their bullshit and then I remember that she also works for Fox and is a republican and isn’t exactly speaking truth to power herself.