Evacuating JFK in Dallas didn’t go that smoothly.

I caused a similar ruckus at JFK during the Winter Olympics when I turned the volume up during the biathlon. And then fired my gun in the air.

I guess that’s what happens...

Well then

IOC spokesman (pictured); ‘ didn’t happen, everything’s fine.’

Wait...so how would the IOC even know if Lochte got held up or not? Were they there? Or did they just flat-out deny it for optics purposes?

I am glad our Labradoodle is ok

You make me feel so blue. Grey. White? I don’t know.

Thank goodness he's ok - it would have been really ugly if he dyed.

I’ve taken this advice my whole life. Eventually, one of two things happen:

Lol i just read that entire thing out loud to my husband. It's so good.

“She’s So Creepy”

And then Taylor Swift will write another song about how everyone is mean to her. And the cycle continues.

I’ve Performed at the Super Bowl and Hillary Clinton’s Presidential Nomination and All You’ve Done Is Sit On Some Ugly Rocks With an Englishman

I can’t wait to hear Katy’s new songs because normally her hits (which any song about Taylor would surely be) have extremely simplistic cliche lyrics and I really want to see how many things she rhymes with creepy. So weepy, she smells like peepee, she goes by T-Swifty?

The Nick JonasTown Massacre

Iowa is a state.

interesting