My favorite part was how he started running to get in position to make a tackle on the return before the interception actually happened.

My man, if you stare down your receiver like that on the street, you’re going to get slapped with a goddamn restraining order.

I was astonished that they didn’t perform this strategy the last time. Why is this even a question? Let Heitkamp and Minchin go, and slow the Republicans down with everybody whose seats are safe.

The Five People You Meet In the Upper Deck

By law, the titles of all Mitch Albom books should begin with “FWD: FWD: FWD: This will brighten your day!!1!!”

Mitch Albom remembers those seats, sitting there last season next to Ernie Harwell, Bison Dele, and Ty Cobb. Read all about it in his next book, The Bullshit I Made Up For Your Great Aunt to Believe.

What if the Eagles are fine, but they’re just playing the wrong QB?

As the Eagles fall, Gritty rises 

Well, then, I guess I got a good deal on that voodoo curse I shelled out $150 for.

Jamie Moyer was already 31 when that film came out. Whoa. 

Congratulations! Does it de-chub when you stand up, or does it stick around?

My muscles healed tight after an accident, now I get erections whenever I sit in air conditioned rooms for a long time listening to people talk.....like at board room meetings......I doze off and it grows as I get more relaxed and sleep...

Starring Bret Kavanaugh 

That kid threw a frozen rope strike to the plate. This guy one hops it to 2nd base from shallow left. So if it is, it’s the Jamie Moyer version.

That’s just what his hand looks like.

Mike Moustakas charged in from third base for a bare-handed play.

PICTURED: Gritty, sans costume

Gritty is a South Philly sewer monster and honestly I can’t think of anything more fitting.

I was thinking he looks like the deadbeat brother of the porn-addicted muppet from Avenue Q.

And we might get a sequel! From yesterday: