Criminal Mines is a new show about US Department of Interior mine inspectors finding deadly mine owners who get their workers killed. The OSHA spinoff will be the sexy one.

That's what Dexter was, but nobody was sure how much of the comedy was intentional.

“Well, it’s a fact” [that vaccines are safe and work as intended]

I’ve never seen MTG in the same room as HRC. Coincidence? I asked the question, you decide!

Did your loved one work in a liquor farts factory or something?

Maybe we need to find a New Doug?

Maybe she's talking about Jez?

This also tracks with the HBO 2001-2012 ethos of being in the creator/artist business as opposed to the show-only business. Their CEO kept having these “We’re in the David Simon business, not Treme business” type quotes.

That, and the whole “training for the Paralympics” thing when everyone in that sport went full Mariah Carey ‘never heard of her’.

Were you driving in a Mr. Bean title sequence by any chance?

Fallon will butter up to anyone who agrees to sit on that damn couch. Remember him tussling Trump’s hair?

The Bachelor/ette franchise is going to have a “your turn in the barrel” kind of scenario one of these days, isn’t it?

“I'm sorry I don't usually respond to YouTube comments. Do you have any substantive questions?"

“as” or “in the” chair? I can see Dumbfuckistan eating their own right out the gate.

I usually chop and throw in half the fresh herbs, garlic and onions in the house whenever I marinate chicken or pork. Still get disbelieving looks when I say I tenderize them by adding some orange juice or pineapple juice to the marinade.

I'm going to try a controlled experiment and put a note that says "season your dammed chicken" on co-workers' desks and see who gets offended.

The next Ant Man movie will have a big battle on a helicarrier that’s actually an RC drone bringing a bunch of dolls to a kid’s tea party.

My dreams are not that creative, so in my dream it would have been:

“Has your client tried...not committing crimes?"

“Couldn’t afford the upgrade at Hertz, huh?”