Guys. Guys. Really. This is just some Blake Shelton cosplaying that his wife ordered. It will all make sense when Mrs. Cruz starts showing up in Harajuku Girl clothes.

I don’t work in media, but if anyone in my workplace ever exhibits this kind of behavior they’d be fired. Where the fuck does he get off on bypassing a male counterpart to berate a woman who didn’t take part in that initial direct interaction?

What’s more difficult to write about: movies that are laser-focused on a central thesis but doesn’t quite come across successfully, or movies that are just a collection of “cool shit” that ends up being a mish-mash but each piece actually works?

Yes, they tested it with Aaron Paul holding a glitchy Windows XP laptop from 2003.

They should have had one of those creepy stalkers who go on Zillow to look at his (always a he) neighbors’ home “Zestimates” and then bitch about it on NextDoor.

I fell asleep when I realized that Weekend Update was going to be the same watered down shit it’s been since Jost started. So I feel asleep as soon as the announcer said “Weekend Update”.

HeadHogg?

Boebert at least has the good sense to keep her head down while the feds check the security footage from 1/4 & 1/5. 

“Also, the animation looks a lot better than it did in the first Shrek—less PlayStation cutscene, more PlayStation 2 cutscene.”

Lavar Burton. Give the man his shot.

I was gonna say that maybe we have the same boss, but really there’s just too many of that type of boss out there.

Somewhere Skinny Pete from Breaking Bad is crying into his pillow: “you mean this could have been me?”

Well look at mister “my state has an actual concept of maintenance even if they don’t fucking do it” fancypants over here.

The mayor and the vaccination site manager may or may not have experiences running a volume operation like this. But I’ve seen something similar with mass test sites. One site I’ve tested at a few times: first week, lines of 40-50 minutes and one check-in person; second week, three check-in people and the line is 10…

Indeed. The last time they did a bipartisan relief package (the one with PPP) it was driven by “your donors get this, my donors get that, Donny’s napping so let’s get this shit done” energy.

I used to have a coworker with her personality type, before social media and general gun nuttery took hold of evangelists.

I have a friend that had that appliance situation. Turns out their older (50s) house had never been checked if the wiring was up to code so they started tracing the wiring and found missing grounds and frayed wires all over the place. Whenever a poorly grounded house is subject to a power surge (like switching after…

Legalize weed and make explicit the fact that the DEA is really the enforcer for the Fed Cartel.

Honestly I’m wondering if the Democrats ever just talked or simulated the actions like impeachment and such, and just game it all out to see what the likely ends and costs are going to be, so they can decide whether it’s worth it. Or if they just go ‘nah’.

[Keanu is busy doing unspeakable things to six virtual Keanus]