1. Pulls up WAP video on mute for the 10th time

His balance was so bad he always lands dick first.

This is indeed a motherfucker who feels a slight razor tug on his chin pubes and noped the fuck out. 

<Jon Stewart in 2014 gif>

“Houston, excuse me while I whip this out."

Nadler used to be much more obese and had surgery (gastric bypass?) a while back.

The judge didn’t want to ruin his white life, I guess.

I’m 80% sure that Singer basically thought “whoa this batch of Molly is the FUCKING BALLS” and assumed he was negotiating with hallucinations.

I really like that half of them don’t seem to have any sort of evidence of impact or any issues other than the wheels getting whompy.

Yeah, but what’s the correct term for an employee who doesn’t have the option to change employers, is only “paid” in room and board, and is discarded as soon as their body doesn’t perform like it required?

You ever wonder how old white dudes would react during a drive-by? 

Fine: Biden/Bagel From Back Of Grandma's Cabinet 2020

The book is a Quantum Leap-like anthology where each chapter Matthew runs into Willie Nelson, smokes a pound of weed, and wakes up in a new movie set with no idea how he got there. Then he runs into Woody Harrelson, smokes a pound of weed, figure out what he has to do, does it, runs into Willie Nelson, etc.

I guess it's weird if you make an exaggerated sniffing sound?

If her staff stayed on the payroll throughout the shutdown from PPP, then great for her/her company.

When I saw mysterious seeds I figured this was another one of those Doctor Demonfuck stories.

Yeah, that’s your standard abuser playbook where the abuser tries to spin any form of consequences as the victim’s fault for depriving the fans of such artistic/business/bullshit brilliance.

I’d rather see what that $25k would get at The Defector. Probably unfulfilled sexual promises from Magary, but still.

Jesus. I’m sorry man.

There’s extroverts, and then there are these assholes.