the book uses “pirate-ninjas” as a unit of measurement so unfortunately i won’t ever be able to read it

Uh oh!!!

nice

Hm. To me, this just seems like more drama in the tumultuous career of “Johnny Football”.

why would that be difficult?

damn we got a real president hugger over here

Congratulations to Jack’s Abby Copper Legend, the big number one Oktoberfest beer. If you grab just one of these 19 best Oktoberfest beers, make it the big winner, a Jack’s Abby Copper Legend

“Ninety percent of customers (and employees) pronounced it “lot-key”, but that wasn’t the worst of it.”

mmm yes. so crazy and wacky and viral. cats internet. i can’t even

That’s just a child wearing a Geno Smith jersey, but it’s an easy mistake to make. Men, women, children, animals, anyone can wear a jersey with someone’s name on it. You just have to really know what the actual athlete looks like

I’m not trying to cross any lines here, so hopefully this doesn’t come off as too controversial, but I honestly feel like, when you consider the context of this story and everybody involved, one thing you can say about this kind of thing with some certainty would really just have to be that a more appropriate name for…

.

Prince Fielder baby. fat as fuck

who the fuck is Bert

actually they’re saying this is pretty much the last one. if this doesn’t work you’re doomed to be a fat fuckin slob for life and should find some kind of cave to live in

no, I’m saying his dinner plate, because he’s fat. not his “plate” metaphorically

Do such? he’d probably rather do lunch!!

Uh... dude.... *sigh* it’s a video game. This didn’t really happen.

“A Pizza of His Own”. He ate the whole pizza. That’s how fat he is

Heh. You’d think the Giants would be more interested, since, when you think about it, he fits the physical description of a “giant” given the massive girth that makes up his “giant” body, so he’d fit in pretty well on a team called the “Giants”