“The only Skins I care about are potato skins. I crave unhealthy food despite my already enormous weight”

It’s probably because they let tremendously overweight baseball star Prince Fielder graze on it, to try to sate his inhuman hunger

“Share a malted? I would rather drink the whole thing myself, due to my hunger and lack of self control”

“it’s a feature, not a bug” - writer on the internet

Prince Fielder

Thank you, Tom. I will.

“This pack 12 is great too”

the Rangers third baseman? More like the Rangers first baseman, obese baseball star Prince Fielder

the “mass of bodies”? more like the “massive body” of obese baseball legend Prince Fielder

the big thing at MLB spring training is, of course, massive Rangers superstar Prince Fielder, who is dangerously overweight due to his eating habits

You wanna see tight-assed? Look no further than the uniform pants of freakishly overweight baseball star Prince Fielder, whose size makes him the constant subj

There seems to be some confusion; legendarily obese first baseman Prince Fielder wasn’t silent, he just had a lot of hamburgers and hot dogs in his mouth because of his insatiable hunger. Prince Fielder is on the Rays

“Two beefs with extra pep guardiola please”

130231310.8 on a big LED display? What is this, overweight baseball star Prince Fielder’s bathroom scale?

“as all Deadspin commenters are aware, I only eat the curly fries”

“What’s an Esco-bar? Sounds like some kind of delicious food item I’d love to eat to pack more unsightly girth onto my tremendous body”

“Good to see an Arby’s reference in this post, as it is surely one of my favorite restaurants”

the title of this post references a famous song. i recognized the reference and am here to let you all know that. please star this comment so we can be “in on it” together as it were

“What are thooooose?”

“They’re the new breakfast tacos from Taco Bell, hilariously overweight baseball superstar Prince Fielder”

“I voted for Rice”