Since when do Jews vote Republican?

The bear and the maiden fair.

I mostly get them shortly after I fall asleep.
What I'm saying is that naps are hard for me.

As much as I adore the idea, David Boreanaz would never go for it, because he's stuffed his face so full of Bones money that he's getting the Ted Kennedy/Marlon Brando wide face.

Are you chewing gum?

Even my parents, whose tolerance for shit TV is unimaginably high, didn't care for Coach. I mean, it was on, so we watched it, but what else were we gonna do? Talk to each other?

And starkly different bears.

Oh, this tank was supposed to be for thinking? You… hmm. Maybe just let that air out for a little while before you use it.

If they start beheading losers on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, I will watch that shit live.

Eh, maybe, but I don't think I it's quite the problem you make it out to be. Physical attractiveness and body image are a bitch no matter who you are, but I don't think weight is by any stretch the most important measure. I've seen a lot of horrifically unappealing thin people, especially in my time up in California's…

That's… not really that heavy. You're on the chunky side, sure, but that's not out of the question for 6'3". You talked about going out with an actress once, so I have to assume you live in the LA area? I can see how you'd feel like a monster in that environment, but what you're working with is svelte in most of the…

Spike?

In my head, it's always the Sanford and Son theme song.

The celebrity I'm most ashamed ofof being attracted to is Kathryn Heigl, because I loathe her in everything she's been in (her best role, to me, is Knocked Up, and she and her character were both very unlikeable in that) and she fits a traditionally attractive "bombshell" archetype that I don't usually like. I also…

… Hello.

Are you dating Cheryl, Carol or Cherlene?

-A Christian Mom's World Wide Web Site, GeoCities 2002

From what I've heard, thrifty budgeting is not his strong suit, and The Room was bafflingly way overbudget.

From what I've heard, thrifty budgeting is not his strong suit, and The Room was bafflingly way overbudget.

Pregnican Americans are the most underserved group on television.