That would certainly not constitute an appropriate ritual sacrifice. The Mayan gods are largely dormant, but they still had enough juice to curse us with Republican control of both houses of Congress, ebola hysteria, and the popularity of One Direction.

I remain firmly of the opinion that episodes of Judge John Hodgman should set a precedent for all other courts.

It's an old picture.

Is SNL the BMX Bandit?

So I've been sharing all these bilious thoughts and ideas with you people illegally? That's really gonna taint the release of my manifesto about taints.

I would prefer not to.

Look at you guys, just parroting each other's opinions.

Coincidentally, that's exactly the point at which I bailed on the video.

Upvoted just for your name.

YMMV on Too Many Cooks based on how many '80s/'90s sitcoms you watched and how much you enjoy a rake gag.

Oh, no, no, no. Nobody should ever fuck Kirk Cameron.

I remember from previous videos that his strategy involved a banana somehow.

Oh, did she not file a quarterly report? WHAT A FUCKING MONSTER. It's as if she raped the law itself.

Oh, Pascal's Wager, that's a nice philosophy to have in life. Good thing your entire moral and psychological structure isn't built on the logical equivalent of a Jenga tower.

One of my aunts believes (so far as I know, haven't talked to her in 15 years) that dinosaur bones were put in the ground by Satan to lead us astray. I think this may have been before the "human and dinosaurs lived together in harmony!" theory, so she may be on that wagon full of crazy now.

No, but it might cost more than sitting in a car and rambling at someone.

Yep! And we're happy that way. But if you were even a smidge honest with yourself, I think you'd find that our reasons to hold contempt for Kirk Cameron, people like him, and those who support him are eminently coherent.

Agreed. So much of English is subjective and contextual that you're left going, "Well, this isn't technically wrong, but it's a little awkward, so you could say this instead, and then there's this regional variation," et cetera, et cetera. Our spelling is also, in ZMF terms, wack as fuck.

Yoga killed my entire family!

I did question after the fact whether that was just my natural stupidity trying to bust through the brain prison I put it in, but not enough to actually check.