This was quite a solid coke-rant. I’ll bet he didn’t pause to take a breath the entire time.

Let he who has not tried to suck his own cock cast the first stone.

Mooches, ranked - AMENDED

“Happened to me in Rio. Sharks was all ‘I’m gonna eat ya’ but I was all ‘jeah right’.”

I’d settle for Geraldo getting wanged in the face by a chair again.

He admitted in interviews leading up to the broadcast that he did not get in the water with a shark and then race it, which would have been insanely dangerousawesome

You Don’t Have to Be a Fucking Stooge

I think Kyrie has legitimate reasons to be pissed off at Lebron. Lebron thinks that the world revolves around him, which obviously isn’t true since the world is flat.

So we’re clear, Lucky Whitehead isn’t a nickname for Jason Garrett?

Sherman: See, before I was only trying to get the bag in the hole some of the time-

There was a moment I caught between naps where the announcer said: “I don’t like when people say Jen is one of the best FEMALE cornholers because to me she is one of the best cornholers period. Her gender doesn’t limit her abilities.” And in that moment I knew we had truly welcomed cornholing into 2017.

Who is this GLORYBAGGER who can’t even acknowledge THE LORD for his cornhole greatness?

Fuck me (not) Runnin’

So he gets his cake and to eat it too?

Reminds me of when The North Face sued The South Butt out of business.

If you want a lewd golf hat, act sooner rather than later.

The furious grass roots upsurge since the election has thus far failed to completely permeate the actual political party that is best positioned to take advantage of it.

“Clinton lost- get over it! It’s that simple!”

You are...not nearly as informed about recent events as you think you are.

I look at Clinton’s platform in 2016: