Right? Does Barry not follow sports at all? What in the everloving fuck?

I can't believe that question was asked.

Why do the Broncos win eastern Tennessee? What's with Seattle's noncontiguous support in Minnesota and Wisconsin.

Looks like David Cross.

Because midwesterners are fat!

Bills Fans Posterize Scores

here's the island..and we're gonna wanna detonate that baby right here...

Haha, look at Paul. He's so goofy, he always seems a bit tipsy in public.

Sorry, never mind, I was thinking of his ex-wife.

This is 100 times better than DolphiNado, which truly had no porpoise.

Yeah but what can I get my black friends?

- Roger Ebert's Review of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

please shoot video horizontally.... if we all keep saying it.. someday it will happen.

At least you have the option of calling it Alt, or it's alternative Option.

"Basically I just want everyone to make tacos all the time. Tacos tacos tacos."

And yet, you never teach us how to make great tacos.** You're just a big mean judgmental father who yells at us for not doing the things you never ask us to.

**before someone says, "That's because tacos are easy to make," consider that…

"Hey, what are you doing? I'm just pulling pranks. You Ken Tarr est me for that!"

WDIV deeply regrets the error, and apologizes sincerely to Mandela (pictured) and his family

Such a bad game even the announcers didn't feel like going.

You god-damned bet I do.

For my alcoholic buddy, I got him a framed picture of his family, but I didnt let him keep it. Everytime we go out and get shitfaced, I pull out the picture and say "SEE?!! THis ISS theFAMLY U YER DESTROYIMNG ASSHOLE!!!" Then he breaks down into tears and sobbing, and I drink the rest of his beer while he's not…

It appears we've already given one drinker a gift of an easily written column. Jesus, is this what counts as a writer these days? Sign me up!