I used to sign up for the "3 free issues!" or whatever for the perfume ads. They used to take up half the magazine. I loved to subscribe with phony names.

I look forward to being Public Enemy No. 1

Ah, yes, but I was working from my reaction upon spotting one: smash it! smash it and flush it down the toilet!

See, I was thinking cockroach.

His face looks like an armpit.

Her misandry!!!

It's not a matter of if, but of how much.

Other things that started with/by John Mayer:

I... that... that... what