SERIOUSLY, DO NOT CLICK IF YOU’RE AT WORK, KIDS. Hoo-boy! 

Donald Trump does lie constantly, consistently, at every opportunity.

Fruit ranking really is a multi-axis process, as shown in this chart.  A professor in my department in grad school had all his students fill out their own and taped it to the door of his lab.

There was an old perv in Nantucket.

“Daddy, why is this song called ‘Windows 95'?”

I’ve been using “clap’s back” for years.

As someone who has tried WW in the past and just started back up again three weeks ago I’m going to quibble with you a bit. I think that WW is what you make it. We can talk about “what WW stands for” but how a person chooses to use the service is entirely their choice. The idea of wellness is subjective. Why isn’t…

A religious belief is not eating pork or not working on Saturday. This is treating people like shit and then blaming god when you get caught.

LMGTFY: those that carry no cash number less than 10%

This article has three paragraphs, and if you got to the tip jar part you’ve already read two. Finish the job, friend!

Or maybe don’t include throwaway plastic toys with a meal at all. I’m sure the vast majority of those end up in the garbage within hours.

Check this lil’ fella

I’m going right to Cold Duck.

If you’re not drinking beer and farting, are you even playing darts?

Remember, these are ‘ketchup on steak’ tastebuds we’re talking about, here. He’d give a Michelin star to an actual tire.

Pictured: Direct TV versus Basic Cable Sam Darnold.

You are now aware of the touch of your clothes on your body.

But what if you want to share music with friends but don’t want to be harassed by strange men?

Maybe they can Ask Jeeves. And by Jeeves, I mean their literal butler.

This is a show about prostitution and pornoagraphy in NYC in the seventies - it airs on HBO.