it’s time to watch pre-teens do amazing baseball things while thinking, “Hmmmm, are we sure that kid is only 12?”

I think by now, most Mets fans are angry that the games start at all.

A male feminist walks into a bar

I think I’ve figured out the code: If you give a guy a boner, you’re “curvy.” If you don’t, you’re “fat.”

Also, this.

I love you anyway.

I’ll fight you.

Whoa whoa whoa, Michael. Settle down.

I’d also point out that you’re making your hot dogs all wrong. First you open the bun, add the condiments you want. Then you add the dog on top of the condiments. The dog keeps the mustard and relish in the bun and off your shirt.

Counterpoint: Fuck you, Chris.

Come on now. Let’s not blame the mother for a grown man being a monster.

he could have been raised right and turned into a monster, it happens all the time. Parents have no control over some psycho who grew and held his kids hostage. He made that choice

I think the most important thing for people to understand is the difference between an indica and a sativa. All the hip names are pretty much irrelevant compared to the difference between the two. Never found an indica to really be recreational, just a great way to mellow out after a long day.

no way this is awesome.

Whoever narc’d is a dick

She wasn’t working because nobody was hiring her. That’s what lost business *is*.

My wife on advice from friends brought and entire bag with no purpose other than pillaging this kind of loot. They also hand out diapers, wipes and several other things - if you catch a shift change at the right time you can even stash a whole package of diapers and request more. With our first kid I felt kind of…

You don’t need to tell me about the Faustian bargain. I do the best deals with the Faustians. I’ve done deals with them for many years. They’ve always been very nice to me. And we’ve done some tremendous deals. Believe me, these were very, very, very incredible deals. Many, many people have looked at my deals with the…

“I have a family of four” means two of them are her kids. One is a grandchild. And she counts herself, because she is a person in her family. Perhaps before casting aspersions about all the kids she’s having (which, I guess she had all on her own via immaculate conception with no man involved whatsoever because…

Yeah, well. I have a litmus test and I’m a voter.