Much art

KATE DRIES, NOTED VASELINE FAN, IS THIS A THING THAT YOU DO???

Right? My first instinct is to find him annoying, but somehow he says things that are really on-point and kind of profound and I'm always left impressed. But I've been impressed to some degree ever since I learned that he actively helps/sponsors other recovering addicts and hangs out with and donates money to…

Can I tell you my secrets? Besides the dollar store/Target dollar section, Michael's has a dollar section, and their sale areas are great, too (last year got mini picture frames, boxes of stationery and pretty journals for cheap). I've bought ponytail sets at H&M for $1, bottles of lotion at Bath and Body works at…

My inner Martha Stewart comes out only to assemble carefully chosen goody bags for my kids parties. One year it was a set of cards, a checkers set and a tic tac toe set, all from the Target dollar section, BOUGHT ON SALE, so less than $1/kid. Of course, this required that I buy more than I needed, because I was buying…

Or you could tell her that it is where you keep your gun locked up and that guns are for killing and you own that gun for shooting people dead. And that dead people are dead forever. Then you could teach her some actual gun safety in case she ever stumbles across your firearm.

Just riffing here.

I am one of those people who gave great birthday parties for my kid—you don't want to know some of the lengths to which I've gone—though I'm a DIY type rather than spend the money type—but even I got sick of goody bags. After a while, I went for kids making something and taking it with them, or one simple thing.

Does McDonalds still do birthdays? Because that was the bomb when I was a kid. A runner up to the roller rink, of course, and not even in the same universe as the Shan-gri La of Putt-Putt

When I was a kid, my mom's rule was that you were allowed to invite the number of people equal to the birthday. Seventh birthday? Seven kids, MAX. That said, my best birthday was my eighth, because we had it at the local bowling alley, and the party favors were socks that had been BEDAZZLED with my big sister's…

I don't like guns. I feel it's not necessary to have them in your home but if you do, at least FUCKING LOCK THEM UP. Take the fucking bullets out of it, put it in a case or a safe and FUCKING LOCK IT. The majority of these children and teens are killed because they found a loaded gun in someone's nightstand and were…

A kid I know recently had an 8th or 9th birthday party where she and 3 of her friends got a table by themselves in a cafe and ate lunch together. Her parents were at another table across the cafe, where they could see them but not hear them, and they talked to the wait staff beforehand and paid the bill. The kids…

Omigosh ... when my step-daughters were eight, I had a Backstreet Boys themed sleepover. (Don't judge ... BSB was at the height of their glory and my girls ADORED them.) So I made goody bags with custom t-shirts ("I'm with the birthday girl" or "I'm the birthday girl" and transfers of the band and such) ... burned…

I did it once. Halfway through, it was like I woke up from a coma, and was like "WTF am I doing!?"

99% of the time, the parents either expect to stay or are expected to stay. When I've asked if I can drop my 8-year-old off at the bouncy house joint for a birthday party, I am met with blank stares and incredulity. Ugh.

Some of my favourite birthday parties as a kid were ones where my mom just took me and my two best friends to do something fun, like mani/pedis or the movies or mini-putt and ice cream. Good idea, it feels so much more special

my kids don't usually want birthday parties. My older son usually asks to go camping or to the movies instead of having a party, and my twins have asked to take a trip to their nana and papa's house in another city for their next birthday rather than waste the weekend on friends they see everyday. The last birthday…

wait

Totally common. People don't RSVP, so you have no idea how many to plan for, and then half of the non RSVP people randomly show up, so you have to be ready for them. How hard is it to text?

I refuse to cave to the whole goody bag nonsense. I'm not doing it. I'm sorry if that makes me an asshole, but I sincerely don't care.

10,000 years from now, they'll think they discovered the lost city of Atlantic Avenue