I copied that piece of the article and was headed down here to give him a similar treatment.  I hope that every day she wakes up and sees his stupid face, the torrents of profanity and soul-crushing insults open like flood gates, and the misery she pours upon him burns like napalm.  It’s the first thing he hears when…

I offer up:

Where do I submit my list of alternative guest hosts for Sony’s consideration?

Ken Jennings has negative charisma. That he would even be considered is insane to me. The only way to make Ken Jennings seem watchable is to put him next to James Holzhauer, who might be the least charismatic person ever to grace the small screen. 

Yes.

Can we also say that Ken Jennings was annoying as shit? Like, he tried, but he couldn’t resist occasionally showing off how smart he was, which Alex would have never done.

“Forced birth” is even more accurate

Yep. It’s anti-choice, not pro-life.

Stop calling them “pro-life”. They don’t give a crap about life, only about controlling women’s bodies.

Some people blame Spielberg and Lucas for killing the Golden Age of Movies, but I think even if it weren’t for Star Wars people would’ve eventually got tired of all the downer movies.

Re: Stray Observations - 

You’re right to recognize Eva Green’s performance in this as being fantastic, but the side-effect is that she makes Orlando Bloom look even worse. The scenes they have together are some of the most horribly one-sided I’ve ever seen. She might as well be acting against a wooden post. It almost brings more attention to…

The Blizzard has many flaws, but prejudice doesn’t seem to be one of them. 

You could have stopped at Eva Green rules.

Eva Green pretty much rules whatever she is in. 

Ozzy never has this problem since nobody can tell what the fuck he’s saying.

I’ll be the first to shamefully admit I’ve never watched The Osbournes, but you don’t really get your own reality show by being a well-adjusted member of society with a healthy respect for other people.

I was really hoping Chris Gaines would be inaugurated on March 15th.

No irony, Garth Brooks was one of the all time greats as an SNL host.

Gaines was booked for Trump’s victory party.