i did it for the first time in 6th grade and my mom was not pleased

Reaaaaading this!

I DESERVE A HOT SUPER MODEL BUT I WILL NEVER MAKE AN EFFORT TO BE HOT ENOUGH TO GET HER. CRYING MEOW!!

You see that with Britney Spears too, the way smiles and grimaces are always fighting for dominance.

UGH WAY TO RUIN MY WHOLE FUCKING WEEKEND BY MAKING IT AWESOME

I’M SUCH A NICE GUY WHY CAN’T YOU C*NTS JUST ACCEPT THAT

‘frightening level of darkness in the human heart’

My favorite:

this avatar, tho

My favorite headline on there: “Witnesses stunned after subway manspreader rips in half.”

Yew guyz I can’t possibly keep up with all this TV and also I don’t actually have TV and right now I have to finish watching Daredevil my life is so hard.

One of my favourite sketches is the Hello M’Lady one. The youtube comment section of that video is full of male tears falling from fedora’d heads

I’ve never seen it before either and now I’m dying!

She’s similar to Greg Kinnear, who looks like he’s been crying always.

Plus, the dog is a MASTIFF. That must be a huge pile of doggy doo. If you stepped in that, you might just sink.

Eh, Cross I respect your central theme. Yeah, plenty of people rise above, but I don't look don't on those who seemingly don't. This is a very weird circumstance to find yourself in.

Winter on the East Coast was incredibly brutal. Not just because of record snow, but because when the huge piles of filthy snow & Ice finally melted, we city dwellers were greeted with the horror of thousands of pounds of dog shit hidden in snow banks. Even worse were the bags lying on the sidewalk. YOU’VE ALREADY…

This Carol person deserves ALL THE CREDIT for being a way better person than I am. Where’s her GoFundMe? She picked up someone else’s poop! And then didn’t keep the ring!

I’m not even sure I’d have gone to the trouble of cleaning the poop off to see whether it was valuable, but if I had I sure as shit would’ve kept it.* People who don’t pick up their dog’s shit are the worst. London is the absolute worst for this, too, it’s just dog shit everywhere all the time.