This is definitely the kick in the nuts of it all. All we’ve heard about since the Raptors came into existence is how “star” American players don’t want to come here, or come here and don’t want to stay. DeRozan finally breaks that cycle and they boot him out the door for a guy who refused to play for one of the best…

Congrats on your gun violence. Abolish universal healthcare and I might give you a look.

If you go to Chicago and people are mean to you, it’s because you are the asshole.

Could the Raptors flip him?

It’s gonna be real sad when he’s out of football for a few years and he forgets why the rocks are on his porch. 

“...in the double-shooting sleeve, late-stage Melo getup”

I’ve read that NBA players don’t practice all that much after the regular season has started, simply because between the games and the travel there simply isn’t much time. Hence all the attention on the D/G League the last couple of years.

And you don’t even really need an injury to see your draft stock drop precipitously. Terence Morris, who played at Maryland, would have been a lottery pick had he left after a tremendous sophomore season. He stuck around for his last two seasons, didn’t put up numbers as good, and ended up being a second round pick.…

For what it’s worth, I do generally think that players’ skills benefit from more seasoning before they come to the NBA.

Eh, that’s tricky as hell, and I’m not really sure he made the wrong choice. Staying in college carries huge, huuuuuuuge risk for a first-round draft prospect. Like if he’d stayed at Kansas another year, developed his game, and entered the NBA readier to be a productive player, that would’ve been great; maybe he’d be…

This is what happened to the “My dad’s a lawyer” kid from your HS.

Okay, well. Since digital media analytics is what I do for a living, I guess it’s time to wade in here. Shareablee counts only social media engagements, meaning clicks and likes and such (meaning it doesn’t matter how bad your ratios are). I just pulled up the numbers in comScore and, wow, it is even sadder than…

So that’s where the economic anxiety comes from!

Hahahaha that’s amazing. I never understood why you guys never used data-driven points like this to hammer these assholes, because I’ll admit, I thought Barstool’s reach was IMMENSE. Glad to be proven wrong.

This guy looks like a reject from Bill Simmons’ extended universe of college friends characters. I presume he goes by a nickname like “Worm” or “Gooch.”

according to Comscore, nobody. fun fact: more people [‘unique visitors’] read Timothy Burke over the months of March and April 2018 than read all of barstoolsports.com, according to Comscore. 

Yeah that reads as “I’m not your inappropriately funny uncle; I’m your inappropriately touchy uncle.”

I’m suprised you missed the one where this asshat casually mentions slapping his kid in a rush to jilt a parking attendant out of $57.

I cover stoolies with grass and leaves so the landscapers step on’em 

I am not raunchy, but I am inappropriate at times