No, she looks like a woman who has already been executed, and now haunts the halls of the White House. It’s difficult to tell from the reflection on the floor, but she’s actually hovering 3 inches off the ground. Moments after the photo was taken she opened her mouth, jaw extending down to her waist, and, screaming…

Still, only the water of love can quench the fire of hatred. Only the light of truth can enlighten the darkness of ignorance.

Every picture of Melania in the White House makes her look like an angry ghost haunting the place.

Not being invited to weddings is basically my #1 life goal.

Markle being a woman of color and becoming the first black member of the British royal family (in 2017—they’re just now okay with it!)—is a legitimately huge deal! That she is divorced and Catholic (members of the royal family were forbidden to marry Catholics until 2015) also show some degree of progress for the…

Ham is superior to oven-roasted turkey, but fails to stand up to smoked or fried turkey.

You see fat drunks on a softball field, engaging in some parody of actual softball, but what those guys are doing bears no real resemblance to an actual sport.

No, sports require some level of athleticism. Golf is a game, as are all video games.

I play golf occasionally. I maintain that any game that can be played at a professional level by John Daly is disqualified from being a sport. Golf is literally a walk in the park while drinking beer.

Nah, not really. You think you did, but what you really did was make yourself look like a jackass.

You don’t get to tell someone else to “grow a sense of humor” when you just made the laziest, most played-out joke possible.

No, he’s not. Esports are not sports.

It’s called stuffing because you literally stuff it into the bird. It’s right there in the name. Just because you have extra (because you should always have extra stuffing) outside the turkey doesn’t change the fact that it’s stuffing.

Now I just look dumb.

Tell you why it’s fine? You haven’t given any reason why it’s not fine. You can come out against a particular business practice and goof on Han Solo’s shitty beard. These two things are not the least bit mutually exclusive. Commenting on the content of a game in a humorous manner does not constitute an endorsement or…

Unless your boss literally reads over your shoulder, it shouldn’t be an issue. If your boss does that, you probably should spend more time working and less time browsing gizmodo.

Cockroaches can live quite a while without a head. A head isn’t all that necessary when your “brain” is just a slightly more dense bundle of nerves.

No it’s not. Not when you have to incorporate it into all of their other systems, including replenishment and allocation, logistics, point of sale, loyalty program, etc.

Kotaku has been as hard on EA over this as any publication. The idea that they’re “shilling” for EA is ridiculous to the point of stupidity.

No it doesn’t.