So to be clear, you are assenting my point and now we are haggling over price...

You do realize that he barely sent any of the necessary support, right? You realize it took over a year to get the power back on, right? You do realize he proclaimed compared Maria not so bad as Katrina... “Sixteen people versus in the thousands”? You do realize FEMA started reduced support less than a month after the…

Zero hyperbole. It may not be the holocaust, but Puerto Rico is a passive ethnic cleansing. People in three states were hit hard by hurricanes. Which one did we not help? The one with all the brown people. Who died. In the thousands. Just neglect them to death. This happened while we are rounding up a different bunch…

Don’t forget the very large evangelical population, who may even argue about how not racist they are, will fall into line with this. They’ve been told to “not lean on their own understanding” their whole lives. Have faith. Don’t think. Follow the script your church gives you even if it contradicts what the Bible…

Being a thief can be very profitable if you never get arrested.

In Dallas, there are Beto signs everywhere. I’ve yet to see one Ted Cruz sign. 

• Your parking stub.

My biggest dream is to live in a world of fantasy and adventure, where magic exists and dragons are real, so I can go there and be a bureaucrat.

Or a Jackson Pollock.

* have a soul.

It would require him to have soul.

Can I play as John Denver?

I think we have a winner.

In the near future, I will be visiting bookstores to move all his books to the fiction section. 

 - Sally Field is standing on the furniture

Goddammit. Ginny Weasley is a Slytherin.

Needs a soundtrack...

Racists are sick and tired of being called racists, so they decided to stop pretending they are not racists anymore.

There is an app for that. Although its more Zelda than E.T.

I’d give more crap to Fallon, but Kimmel essentially just did the same thing with  Ted Cruz.