My grandmother wore a wedding dress to her own (and only) daughter's wedding. How did that not make the cut?

How about a Fight Club?

Before my non-wedding, I had a bunch of my friends over for an adult sleepover. We giggled and watched Labyrinth and Princess Bride and The Last Unicorn.

My mum's friend's daughter got married by a minister who gave a sermon on how the gays are all going to burn in hellfire... whilst the bride's gay father and his husband were sat in the audience. Everyone was fine with that apparently (apart from the father and his husband, who didn't want to cause a fuss). My mum was…

You know, we were together for 5 years and I never met his dad or sister. Granted, 2 of those years were spent away from England, but still. Not once!

I did? I'm currently in the burn ward having to undergo multiple grafting surgeries after my apron caught on fire. Just made the call today to postpone my April 25th wedding. Worse than the postponement of course is the recovery, which has already proven to be excruciating. Even typing this is awful and has me in…

No one.

My mother. Who took the opportunity during her toast to give my bride my bronzed baby shoes, saying "This is all I have left to give to you of my Gregory. The rest you've already taken for yourself"

When I saw the movie I called my mom to tell her that they ran outtakes at the end of the film which including her scolding. She was mortified. I let her off the hook fast.

I never should have married the former Mr Crumpett, but I thought I wanted it nonetheless. Ex-Mr C is a misanthrope, and he wanted our wedding to be an elopement to a town in Vermont that had much sentimental value to us both. Then Mama Crumpett said she had to be there, so she and my dad were coming. Then ex-Mr C's…

My mother-in-law, when my husband's friends told her that she looked pretty, said, "I think I look pretty good for my age. [they nod in agreement] Then how come none of you wanted to fuck me when you were in high school?"

Who screwed up my wedding? Writer/Director David Mamet (young folks may know him as Zosia Mamet's father). He was filming a movie in my hometown the day of our wedding.

Mine is 46 days away. Now I'm even more nervous.

Oooh, boy I hope no one does. Though I have a feeling I'm going to get an earful at the reception for not wearing a veil, not having a religious ceremony, not wearing white shoes, and probably the lack of hard liquor at the afternoon wedding. Maybe I'll get lucky and granny just won't show up.

I wouldn't say it was 'royally screwed up' but we did have a bit of fisticuffs. Our venue is on a private school's campus. It used to be the convent and is now the library for the school in one part and a reception/wedding venue in another with the nuns living on the 3rd floor. The school isn't so much in a…

These are the kids who go to school with rape victims. It's important to see what they think. Sexual assault education should target dumbasses, not their more sensitive peers.

ETA:

He's my neighbor and he is lovely

To be fair, the term "big sister" is misleading. Especially when taking toddler logic into account.

When I was three and my mother was pregnant with my brother, I got really excited that I was going to be a "big sister." REALLY excited. I was REALLY disappointed when it was made clear to me that this did not mean I was going to be big, to be a grown-up.