I did the same thing on a single grape in a grocery store. Slid about ten feet in the splits. The one who nearly killed herself laughing was my sister.

Kenna needs to slow the fuck down.

I just had to share this story. When I was 21 or 22, I happened to be in town for one of my cousin's 11th birthdays. I went over to my aunt and uncle's apartment, where I found that she had just received her birthday gift from the lady of questionable virtue upstairs.

This isn't me, but it was a guy I was dating at the time. We had vermicelli for dinner. There was one little dried bit of vermicelli stuck to the botom of the pot. Boyfriend, who was always cleaning pots and pans with his hands first to "save sponges" (WTF even is that) was cleaning it and decided to scrape the piece…

I legit slipped on a fresh banana peel once and went ass over teakettle. I know, Mythbusters says they're not slippery but I DID. It was pure cliche slapstick comedy, and even though my ego was probably the most bruised thing it was just so fucking ridiculous it counts as the dumbest.

I work in a kitchen and we got a new BIG pot. We were making mashed potatoes and when it came time to drain the taters I decided to lift the pot to the sink. BAD BAD DUMB IDEA. I KNEW it was too big and shouldn't have gone for it but I did anyways. The second I started lifting my brain and my boss yelled, "NO, THAT'S…

something similar happened to a girl i know. she hooked up with a guy and they wanted to do the romantic "fall back into bed while kissing" thing. well, their heads collided and knocked out her two front teeth.

When I was 12 I bailed off the tube pretty hard (like in the above photo). I bounced along the surface and hit the top of my ankle on what I thought was a piece of wood, or discarded water ski. (We'd hit them before. People drop a ski when they go slalom and sometimes don't retrieve it. Jerks.)

What was horrible was that it was like a crescendo of burn. Subtle at first and then it just intensified. As far as your friend, I bet she wished it would have been ghost peppers!

Thank-you! It's an honour

I love this story. I mean it must have sucked, obviously, but it's very amusing.

One day I was in a big hurry to get ready for my shitty retail job where my boss would bitch at me if I was a minute late. In the process of getting my jeans on I managed to step on the tail of my meanest cat, and she attacked my leg. I finished getting my pants on and ran out the door, not really feeling any pain. It…

i am going to hurt myself right now, by going outside 1st time in about 1.5 days , but then it might be warmer in my car then in my place :)

I once severed my tongue (did you know they could reattach those?) in a library, on the first day after their renovations (I ended up volunteering there 15 years later, it was apparently legend.) I tripped and bit it clear off.

True story;

Once, in a fit of teenage rage, I sliced the entire bottom of my foot off walking up the stone steps of our laundry room. And through my incredible teenage rage, I didn't register the pain or blood and walked around my carpeted house with my foot bleeding so profusely, my parents' came home from a meeting to find me…

I was maybe 12 or 13 and had just gotten into wearing heels. I loved how they made me feel. I would wear heels anywhere and everywhere, and not kitten heels but 5+ inches. So one time I wore them to the park with my friends, and I wasn't to just sit around, I loved to run around and play with everything at the park.…

This isn't my story, this is my best friends story. My best friend was living in Japan at the time, and her old roommate came out to visit her. My friend and her roommate went out with some friends one night and got REALLY DRUNK.

I got a friends knee to the boob on the trampoline once. Hurt for 2.5 years. Trampolines are no joke.

I fell down the three stairs on my porch, grabbed hold of the porch column with one hand, swung around and slammed face first into my car that was parked in the driveway.