i have told a female friend that i believe the ultimatum to be imprudent, but only because i can't believe anyone could be in camp both "it's just a piece of paper" and also "don't pressure me" and not be covering for some deeper emotional connection there. there's only pressure if it means something. if it means…

the thing i don't get about the "no deadlines!!" argument is; if you think it's just paper, or just "a few words," or just a piece of metal, if your argument is that it doesn't mean very much, then why NOT just do it? if it means nothing to you you shouldn't care either way. if it means something to her and nothing…

and told him that we would in fact be getting married.

it's a nerve-wracking enough moment as it is without added pressure/eyeballs! i would have a panic attack. and probably say "no." i have one friend who reacted to a jumbotron-proposal by turning to her boyfriend and saying "that's a great way to get a 'no' out of me" and he paled. they did get engaged, but it didn't…

oh yeah, another reason i don't want a hugely expensive token of love. i am rough on everything. slamming fingers into doorframes. that's the only way i talk myself out of delicate platinum filigree. it would get bent in no time.

$300 for what materials? i need real gold or platinum or really good silver for anything i wear for longer than a few hours (my skin is sensitive/corrosive, it reacts with everything), so the band matters alot more to me than the stone.

i also don't care about diamonds, so picking a ring i care about, within a reasonable budget, is important to me. i'd rather have a pearl if new or a non-diamond stone if vintage. sometimes boys get focused on the value of the diamond too much, like a masculinity thing, and no, it's a false economy and it matters to…

everyone is different. for me: NOT in public. NOT elaborate. involving no-one else. pick an event where i will be cute (not a dirty sunday or after a sweaty hike). and to be honest i'd like to pick the ring myself. my giant hands alone, i would feel awful if i couldn't get it on over my huge man-fingers, would put a…

in the words of the immortal bard taylor swift; why you gotta be so mean?

plus, right now, they are not discussing foxhole situations. they are discussing food-truck-unloading situations. it's not in a foxhole. they're worried about cursing in everyday situations.

i think we agree, except, i mean, you know that those same guys who love/would defend to the death the necessity of the most extreme of language, are only discussing using it against people on the same or lower level than themselves. never a superior officer. so a rule such as "if you wouldn't say it to a [insert…

these people are highly trained regarding other types of language. how to address superiors, civilians, etc. i think it's lazy to assume they can't be trained to limit themselves to "holy shit" as if giving up phrases like "cock holster cunt" and "cocksucking fag" are somehow integral to national security.

i think everyone realizes southern manners exist. some people just realize they are pointless/sexist, and some do not.

if your argument is that it's beneficial to society, do it for everyone. if you just want to be sexist and not feel bad about it, don't ask for anyone's opinion on the matter, because you're being needlessly sexist, and there is no benefit to society to hold doors open only for women. it's neutral at best and an…

being polite to only women?

does continuing them have any beneficial effect on society?

never? insults like bitch, fag, cocksucker? never?

*eyeroll* "holy shit" is not the variety of swearing i or the sergeant quoted are talking about, and i think you know that.

who gives a fuck is the stuck-up christian lady in the cubicle next to yours, or the 55-year-old old-school boss. it's a reality of professional life that professional language must be used. i certainly don't care, and i work for gen-x startup people who probably don't personally care either but they still run a…

i think the idea of controlling swearing is a good thing. it's obviously sexist, because they don't see the women as equals; if they would swear at a man they ought to swear at a woman. but regardless of its sexist roots, i can't help but wonder if the the things which define military culture, like swearing, that…