I have one of those!! I have one of the color changing light bulbs, but I’m hoping to buy two more. I also got 2 of these lamps (several brands of this light out there, they’re all drop shipped from China). The Mr and I have dance parties in our living room.

I MUST HAVE THIS LAMP

I'm going to bring you out of the greys but I'm not going to watch that.

I think “bowled with the rails up” is going to be my new favorite saying. 

Lol, I’d take that analogy a bit further and say he’s like a bowler who only bowls with the rails up and whose personal record is still only 150, and yet who insists he’s a great bowler.

he’s like a shitty bowler who has always bowled with the rails up and thinks he’s a great bowler as a result. His money has always ensured that he has good lawyers around to enable his incompetence and continue to create a fantasy world where he never loses (and if he does, it just disappears and he’s quickly…

With Dump it would be Monopoly money and Chuck E Cheez tokens.

I actually had an especially inept criminal duo come in once when I worked at Borders back in the day with a bag full of blank gift cards they had just lifted from the newly emptied display beside me, asking if they could cash them in. After I ran ten BLANK CARDS through the machine and explained patiently that they…

He probably would have, if he had any cash and knew how envelopes work. 

The problem is not Gallup’s methodology, it’s the cult of personality that exists in the GOP today. Every Republican says the man they admire most is Trump, whereas Democrats choose a whole bunch of people, none of whom garner enough votes on their own to beat Trump’s total.

A new Gallup poll shows that President Trump and Michelle Obama are the most admired man and woman in the nation. Trump finally ended President Obama’s 12 long years at the top spot. I’m sure he’s thrilled.

I explained who in the story, you know, if you had read it. Or did you just come here to be a dick?

My dad worked for one company essentially his whole life and retired with a pension. Both of those things are inconceivable these days. He could NOT understand my life when I was a freelancer (“so... you don’t have a job?” “yes, I do, I actually have 4 of them...”) or my job hopping (“if you had stayed at XYZ, you’d…

or was she expected to simply pose in a bikini?

Yeah, what if instead of coveting Mickey goldfish he coveted Mickey razor blades or Donald book of matches?

This entire thing is a perfect illustration of what, exactly, it means to be conservative nowadays, which is to have basically no consistent principles except deliberately provoking and demeaning people (and tax cuts for the rich, I guess). That is it.

Totally starring that last sentence. It is fucking exhausting having to be the outlet for my husband’s needs because he’s too scared to make friends.

Yeah.  We’ll all just chalk this up to being “locker room talk”.

“I never thought people would call ME a fucker,” sobs leopard from the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party.

Maybe she wanted to feed her kids and keep a roof over their heads?