It honestly makes me the angriest at the racist and xenophobic assholes who think the unwashed and malevolent masses are trying to take “their” country away. Fuckers, if you want to know what it feels like to have a bunch of violent religious zealots overthrow your country and fundamentally change your way of life,…

Police are reportedly looking for “three white men in military gear.”

Hello no haters please and thank you

I don’t care what KK does one way or the other, but wouldn’t it be a brilliant PR move for her to get Kanye to donate 1 million dollars to mothers living below the poverty line who get no paid maternity leave as a “push present”?

Seriously, they keep saying “oh you have to learn how to work with people in the REAL WORLD” and I’m like A) if you’re working with people AT WORK you all have the same hours and you don’t have to try to coordinate 6 schedules in your free time, and B) 95% of my course was women over 30. We’ve all had jobs. We know…

The entire world is looking to the White House.

Yoko just made the most sense she’s ever made to me.

Little did they know, the lawsuit was coming from inside the house...

Ok, not a Perez Hilton fan but have to leap to his defence here. Any parent of young kids knows that they see you naked constantly. In the morning my bathroom is like a rave in Ibiza (only not fun), we’re all running around naked trying to get ready. Any accusations of Hilton being a pedophile for showering with his…

I think maybe she just doesn't enjoy pregnancy - it's common enough. You don't need to be mean !

Dying of curiosity about what the fuck “other” is once you’ve eliminated soda, pop, and coke. Fizzy sugar water? Devil’s Jizz?

Even as a seven-year-old, I was so baffled at the drug lyceums my school would have where they claimed that drug dealers hang around the playground, give kids stickers with acid or LSD on them, and then the kids are hooked on drugs FOREVER! My allowance was $1 a week, I could not afford drugs. That’s just a horrible…

Given that Halloween is coming up and all sorts of stupid lore about treats laced with tricks will soon full the media, here is a simple trick to detect illicit drugs in your confections:

“According to the Times, Clinton turned down the keynote address to the Human Rights Campaign, a powerful LGTBQ lobbying group, in order to make her second appearance on the show.”

“Yes we’ve got trouble. Trouble in Bourneville Village. Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with B and it stands for Booze.”

And, the death penalty neither deters criminals nor lowers crime rates, so....

She isn’t a victim, she’s a criminal who took her husband’s life. She should be in prison where she can’t hurt other people.

That’s absolutely true, what does killing her fix?

#dougwillstillbedead whetherwemurderanotherpersonornot