We swear we're not picking on the Phillies

+1

This is similar to the NBA's attempted Pro Bol rule change requiring at least one player 7'6" or taller in the All Star game.

A condom there. One more time, a condom there. Oh, look out, there's another condom. Aaand a condom there.

+1

Before you point out a spelling mistake in the second tweet, you should know that Marcus is actually writing a sequel to the Tao of Pooh.

Well, it's true what they say; it really does feel better if you do it with a mintonette.

+1

Meh. If I wanted to watch an obvious parody of baseball fundamentals I'd just turn on SNY.

Leave it to Cooper to try to put somebody over a barrel.

Peavy ... will immediately bolster a rotation that's been treading some water

Five nesting black men? Good on Russia for breaking down racist stereotypes.

Non-American (presumably) unable to understand sarcasm detected.

There are usually more Red Sox fans than Rays fans in attendance when the teams play in Tampa Bay, making it seem as though it is a Red Sox home game.

+1

Other interests include KILLING jews and PRUSSIAN pussy, bro.

Man Does 11 Pogo Backflips in Ultimate Stick Move.

Shhhh. Context will only get in the way of Sean's predetermined narrative.

I'm sure they're feeling tied up in knots.

I can't help but think how much higher the death toll would have been if not for the presence of so many emergency personnel near the finish line and the close proximity to half a dozen Level 1 trauma centers. I'm still amazed at how quickly all of the victims were transported from the scene.