If we are Idiocracy now, then why did I get kicked out of Starbucks?

He’s like “clean up all that tea, pilgrims!”

If she thinks flirting is being ruined, I’d kinda hate to know what she thinks flirting is...

Eww. I don’t like healthy things like fruits in my desserts

This is why you’ve never won a Super Bowl.

To all the Belichick fellators in these comments: Wanting—even expecting—your employees to be at work on time despite bad weather is not unreasonable; punitive punishments for those who, despite their best efforts, arrive a few minutes late is.

No.

Thought you could just slip a fake school by us, huh? Nice try. “FIU”, indeed.

The SWAT officer who pulled the trigger is to blame. The person who called the fake incident into the police is to blame. The person who passed along the victim’s address is to blame.

Call centers have lower churn than this.

Big deal. The Cleveland Browns have been doing this for years and it has never worked.

There is no Rolls dealership in Chino Hills.

I’d watch that. Hell, it’s more intriguing than the Dolphins.

“There ain’t no North Pole, thus there ain’t no Christmas”

Another thing to consider is how much his “friend” really liked the winner because he was willing to wait out her reign to be with her. To me that says a lot about how they felt about each other, which is more important than how she looks in a bikini and heels and whether she can play “Heart and Soul” on the piano.

Every pack of cards from 1988 to 1996 had Pete Incavagilia.

It has to be uppity black people. It certainly isn’t the cost of tickets/parking/concessions; poor responses to domestic violence and brain trauma; that no one knows what a catch is; that the league’s punishment is inconsistent and makes the commissioner look like a idiot; that the league has saturated the market with…

I feel like a jerk for saying this, but to me right now the very dumbest part of the very dumb backlash to this silly space adventure movie is people rending their garments over Admiral Ackbar, as though he were an actual important character in the series—or, really, even a character at all, as opposed to an…