Wow, New England, even all of the goddamn oceans are against you.

Ugh.

Hold on Barry, you actually expect me to believe that the NFL knew about a problem and failed to act on it?

This is a production model and can be leased by providing broken toys, crayons, and cool rocks to the dealership on a monthly basis. If you can't make it to the dealership, there's a hotline that you can call to sing parts of the Frozen sound track as payment.

Absolutely zero snark from me on this story. This man's clearly a victim. Anyone who saw more than one Taken movie certainly didn't do so of their own volition.

He's been better this year, but this was only a matter of time. It is a great opportunity to replace him with someone who can actually play hockey.

Psssshhh. Only 14 years of solid income? Bobby Bonilla is not impressed.

I, a reader, learned something that I did not previously know. So, success.

I hope nobody takes his absence personnelly.

did he say "personal reasons" or "personnel reasons"?

"Bel-Z-Bulb Automotive Lighting Company"

If I happen to find myself at some godforsaken place lacking at least 28 of America's finest craft brews on tap (I try not to find myself in such places with too much frequency), my eyes immediately go to the tap handles in search of:

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale was the first beer I ever drank (at least if we're taking about with the intent to get drunk, as opposed to sipping your dads brew). I got a sixer, was all amped up, took a big gulp, and then - I swear to god this is true but I was 15, so give me a damn break - I poured a bunch of Lemonheads…

Only a poseur would bottle on an even-numbered day.

No way, chicken parm really does taste that good.

Cancelled debt principal can be considered taxable income (with some limitation) http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc43…

100,000 in attendance and, uh, several million TV viewers? All that advertising for $135K? It's a steal.

No it's true just shitty deadspin wording

Ah. Forgive me for not remembering that Adrian Peterson was Swedish.