Hey, that’s my county! Sweet! Oh, I mean, FUCK, what a fucking surprise.

High school kids will always be oppressed. I got sent to the principal’s office in 11th grade because my shorts were an inch too short (I’m of the male gender). I thought the (ordinarily cool) teacher was joking at first. I was humiliated...oh no, I wasn’t. I was really fucking annoyed though. A year and a half later…

Um...no.

Are you Greg Maddux?

This is amazing. I love that you can hear every word, and the ump gives it right back to him.

Plymouth Rock was amusing to me. It’s been over 20 years since I saw it, so my memory of it is perhaps suspect, but I remember it being so small that a relatively strong person could pick it up.

Lol, I think I get it now. Also think I’ve just been “shaded” several times in the last few minutes.

Not to be a dick (which of course means I’m about to be) but who decided to try to coin this term “shade” and try to shove it into the lexicon? We’ve already got a name for it. It’s called a burn.

My brother had a massive hole in the back of his PS1, and to this day claims that it just blew out on its own.

The best. You could make an argument for Babe Ruth, but that’s about it.

Jesus H. Christ, that was a fastball down the middle but you really nailed it.

I forgive her and am finally over my bitterness for that pizza toppings list. It was the number 12 meta thing that did the trick.

I’ve been waiting months for your take on Letterman’s final show. Thank you.

These stories are awesome. I love when they are funny and not just bitter.

It’s the same in Texas. It actually blows my mind when I go to another state, walk into the grocery store and find a liquor section. It’s like Christmas morning.

Don’t listen to that sanctimonious jackass. You did fine (volunteering to take the second delivery was very nice), and it was a great story.

Can’t seem to be able to go anywhere on the Internet without seeing something about Anna Kendrick, and I just don’t get it.

Carrie Fisher stopped signing penises years ago dude.

This doesn’t surprise me. I can’t stand that guy and I don’t find him remotely funny.

Nah, I think he’s a good writer when he wants to be. His columns over the last few years have always been NBA oriented or NFL picks columns, and I skim over both. When he writes about other stuff, whether it’s personal stuff like his dog dying, or joking about Tiger Woods, that’s interesting to me. He can still write…