Ray Rice gets two weeks (initially).

WHERE'S THE BEEF, KATE DRIES? WHERE?

I understand why people would feel like they couldn't talk about this. If we're being honest about feelings here, I honestly felt no sympathy for the women above. To be honest, I saved all my sympathy for their children.

Holy cow, people got so upset about a free album. This is the most I've ever seen people get twisted up over FREE STUFF.

Yes, that is where I worked. I worked in the Gloria Steinem counseling and liberation center.

It's GIF, Cookie Monster, never jif.

It's a summer suit! What don't people understand about that? He's not a goddamn funeral director.

I thought confusion arousal is what you feel upon meeting a physically attractive Republican.

Regardless of the merits of actual sexism vs. ironic sexism, I don't fathom the argument that Vergara's approval automatically makes it not sexist. It's as if #womenagainstfeminism wasn't an actual, scarcely month-old thing. Women are perfectly capable of upholding the status quo.

I have been building a summer wardrobe comprised entirely of knit dresses. I feel like I'm pulling a fast one by combining the comfort of pajamas with the illusion that I'm still making an effort. It's hard for me to picture the yoga pant that can really pull off that trick.

It took me far too long to embrace skinny jeans, since I thought only skinny people could pull them off. But no, every woman can. They can pry my skinny jeans from my cold, dead hands. I'm assuming that since I turned 30 while they were in style, they're the new "mom jeans," meaning I can wear them for the rest of my…

Finally!! Something on the internet that doesn't make me tear my hair out! Love this kiddo!

Paris Hilton's perfume was my JAM in high school. My mom only let me buy it if I promised never to overdo it. 2 spritzes max. I got a lecture about it in Sephora.

How can we get Justin Bieber to endorse Axe? Cuz that shit's got to go.

Justin Beiber has a perfume? Awesome. I've always wanted to walk around smelling like gym socks and entitlement.

I don't see this as parents being overly generous. In a world where you get arrested for letting your kid go to the park, or allowing your 12 year old watch your 4 year old— a cell phone is security for both the kid and the parent. Because now parents have the double worry of someone grabbing their kid from the bus…

For what it's worth, I want to apologize to our readers who are forced to interact with these violent gifs regularly. The point of Kinja is to create a better platform for discussion and those discussions CANNOT happen when you're inundated by such traumatizing material. It's this person's goal to shutdown…

I don't buy the "people on the internet aren't human so I can say what I want" argument for a minute. He enjoys the thrill of cruelty. It wouldn't be satisfying if there wasn't a real person getting hurt.

The funniest thing about it is that when he's got the mic in his hand he sounds like a news reporter in the middle of a hurricane.

This reeks of Tom Haverford's Entertainment 720 style lavishness.