What we really need is a big space with a giant penis on it for those dudes in bigass trucks who park along the center line of two "compact" spaces.

I was check to see if anyone else had caught that. WHY IS SOMEONE ON THE ARM?!?

La la la, OK, he's on the head, oh that's fine OMG THERE'S SOMEONE ON THE ARM WTF?

...I need a cigarette.

I love that he finishes the amaziness by making you an omelette. That's some next level good guy shit right there.

If it's not Anthony Weiner I'll eat my hat.

Not the point, but this is conclusive proof that the "friend zone" is total bullshit. Eat it, MRAs.

Oh good, Small, Medium and Large. The sizing index where nothing fits correctly except t-shirt and pajama pants.

I don't care about The Jersey Shore or anyone on it but that was even more mean spirited than normal for TMZ (which I don't watch but see updates on here) and I appreciate whoever Roger is—it's a terrible feeling to leave feeling great about how you look until some asshole ruins it for you.

Bottom left is serving some serious face.

I was totally with her until we got to here: "She later produced minutes for some of those meetings."

That's why her hair is so big—its full of self-awareness

Gwyneth Paltrow can learn a thing or two from Angelina Jolie.

I love how the Goopster has lowered the bar so much that Ms. Jolie even displaying the most basic level of rudimentary self-awareness is applause worthy.

I will NEVER forget those slurping noises. I was utterly transfixed.

r u real

This makes about as much sense to me as the original quote from Shia LaBeouf.

Really? We all complain from time to time, but I don't know anyone who actually regrets having them or would tell someone else not to. I'm not 100% overjoyed by my kids every moment of every day but just thinking about not having them makes me well up. On the days they are particularly irritating or exhausting my…

Seen on Tumblr this morning:

Jesus had a ton of friends.