Anyone who has dealt with this stuff with their aging parents will recognize the evasiveness, secrecy and reluctance to accept outside help as being extremely common and just part of the immense stress and heartache of seeing elderly parents deal with a progressive disease. I mean, I guess it could also be a sign of…

Women in Saudi Arabia can’t drive? I’d never know that if the GOP didn’t constantly point that out.

Wow, I would feel so isolated and disempowered without a driver’s license. 

“Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.”

I was in high school and taking a taking a long flight by myself for the first time. My dad wrote and printed out this long-winded email with tips on how how to travel safely, including tips on how to avoid creepy guys.

I was working as a cocktail waitress in a topless bar, and it was exactly as tedious, gross, and demoralizing as you would imagine it to be. One night, I went to close out a table of older men, and when they started talking in front of me about what to tip me. One of them turned to me and said “Honey, here’s a tip for…

My grandfather once told me you need two kinds of money. “Walking around money” and “running away money.” And to always keep the piles separate.

Not exactly advice per say, and not exactly given to me... but an interaction I watched in traffic once has stuck with me, wherein one party was busy trying to cut off the other party, shouting and gesturing, etc. They arrived at a red light at last, and the offended party exited his vehicle, pounded on the asshole’s…

“the Queen lightly slapped him across the face”

This is just cruel. Try honesty and directness.

I had Lasik more than a decade and a half ago and to this day, I fantasize about whatever drugs they gave me. It was the best night of sleep I have EVER had and everything before and since then has paled in comparison. After the procedure they gave me a bottle with two pills. They said I probably wouldn’t need it, but…

“I’m not a doctor or a psychiatrist but I’ve spoken with Natalia and I believe her. If you’re asking me if I think she is 30, that’s ridiculous.”

Wait, is this a thing? I once had a 15-year-old boy in my summer school class who made me feel uneasy for some reason I couldn’t put my finger on, and he turned out to be a 22-year-old Ukrainian national who’d overstayed his visa and was paying some family to “adopt” him. He’s now in prison on a bunch of charges.

It’s the new Hapsburg Chin.

Funny, they told me the opposite if i stopped holding my Marvel Comics in public i might get a girlfriend.

Cheers, darling!

None. After he walked out on me and the kids I made a big point of continuing to go absolutely everywhere that I liked because fuck him, I own all these places and HE can go find somewhere new if it bothers him. 

I was married once. It was on the planet Earth. Since then, fuck that place.

I greatly envy those who can move away after a breakup. My ex and I are gay men in a big Midwestern city and I constantly run into him and his new flame (who is 12 years my junior and it will never not hurt). My options are to suck it up or become a recluse.