Came here to say the same.

GODDAMNIT

NOBODY BUY MASON JARS. YOU’RE DRIVING UP THE PRICE AND I NEED THEM FOR CANNING PURPOSES.

this is why i love this site

The toaster one reminds me of the time one of the librarians smelled food and tracked it down to a woman who was sitting at a reading desk with a crock pot plugged in underneath it, cooking chicken stew.

I was hoping for a substantial, thoughtful analysis on these particular customers, but I’m afraid of deep things.

My parrot, who is valiantly trying to learn to whistle this tune, heartily approves.

I was in trouble for being outspoken at work about certain policies I felt were not in line with our mission statement and got called to my boss’s office. The office featured a gigantic window that looked out into the lobby, so all my coworkers knew pretty clearly where I was within minutes.

Up. Oh my god, Up. I mean yeah, everyone in the theater was crying after ten minutes, but the little girl character reminded me *intensely* of a friend of mine who died way too young, so I lost it only about three minutes in, pretty much as soon as her head popped up in the window...

Every single time my plane lands in Melbourne and the captain says ‘If you’re a visitor to Melbourne, welcome and enjoy your stay. If you’re a local, welcome home.’. Ah every time. I think it’s a combination of exhaustion, stress and relief.

Hahaha I’m saving this. Only I’ll replace Shindler’s list with UP.

Also a good one I forgot: I got the worst flu of my life my junior year of college. I was in bed for days and my face would not stop leaking and my brains were mashed potatoes. But it was the middle of spring semester and I had to do a Spanish oral exam in the Spanish Conversation and Composition class I was barely…

When I was in my first trimester with my daughter, my boss said something moderately critical to me at 8:30 a.m. and I proceeded to cry until about 3:00. I couldn’t stop. I splashed cold water on my face, I gave myself stern talking-tos in the ladies’ room. I even called my best friend and made her tell me jokes.…

Holy shit I can’t imagine that experience. I hope karma burns that bitch HARD.

She was pure fucking evil, man. I knew someone who worked there... She also fired a woman for crying on the job after losing her husband and kid in a car accident, and only being allowed to take 3 bereavement days. Was fired because she couldn’t “keep her home and work life separate.”

Mine’s not really all that funny or great, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. So here goes:

1. I was in college and making tuna melts for my roommates and me. I burned the shit out of them and burst out crying and scrunched up on the floor because I was a failure. My one roommate gave me a hug while the other stayed far away (she is not a hugger).

My Polish boyfriend’s family has a very sweet Christmas Eve tradition where, before they eat dinner, everyone goes around the table to everyone else and singularly wishes them well for the holiday and the new year. This was new for me so I was a little teary from the get. So his 7-year-old nephew got to me and said,…

I was walking down the street recently, and stopped at an intersection. A helicopter flew overhead, kind of low and I burst into tears. Everyone stared.

Had a boss making things awful for our department. He was such a cancer. Anyway, he’d do stuff like change our schedules to times he knew we couldn’t work, to denying emergency day off requests, slashing our hours, gossip about who had nice asses... A mean, vindictive bro. Anyway, I’d been appointed to talk to him to…