I got dumped pretty spectacularly, once. My ex-boyfriend’s birthday was four days later. I agonized very briefly over whether I should call him, or send a card, or something, to wish him a happy birthday, but ultimately decided not to.

Better than Chanel foundation, in your opinion? Because I got sucked into that black hole of $$$ earlier this year with their “Perfection Lumiere Velvet” and oh-my-word I absolutely love it. Now, having crossed that line into absurdly overpriced designer foundations, I have sold my soul and will gladly pony up even…

And it’s JoJo approved!

I know the red brick was added, but I think it looks good. The inside looks like a lot of the period elements were maintained.

I have surrounded myself with positive people for 34 years and I don’t plan on changing it now.

“That would be a puddle of cheese, and we don’t do that” is one of the single most perfect server quotes we’ve ever had here.

Yeah, it’s a Southern thing.

You know what? I love the balls on Cara Sloane to tell a BCO story about her own fuck-up. Just about every one of these is told from the waiter’s point of view, so I am always curious as to how customers would tell one of these (and what the exact hell was goin on in their cerebellums)...

“So, your table stopped me and asked what kind of fish they had was because they thought you were lying to them; I told them it was cod and they asked why we didn’t have real fish.”

Early for you, perhaps. Funnily enough, the internet doesn’t work only in one timezone. And getting the leader of the country you’re talking about wrong is kinda... well, dumb — not a single one of the sources linked made that mistake. You didn’t need to be rude either. ;)

They did nothing after one of their own was nearly killed, and when 20 babies were massacred. They will NEVER care about this issue.

Quick, Congress! Do nothing!

When I broke up with the love of my life, I went through all our pictures from travelling and photoshopped him out of them. It was cathartic and I don’t regret it. Plus now I look like I went on holiday with an invisible man and it’s hilarious.

*high five*

I can verify this.

C’mon, we don’t know all the facts here. He could have ordered a steak well-done.

I failed to submit mine because I was too busy karaokeing Toto “Africa” last week (did y’all know the chorus is “I guess it’s rains down in Africa” instead of “I bless the rains down in Africa” (way lame)?) so I’m throwing it out there now:

I got way too excited when I saw you were the first mentioned! Congratulations on being internet famous

It will be back next week! But please, tell your best Harry Potter story here.

I know everyone has an opinion about foreskins, but goddamn. That story is not the first or the last time I’ve heard of the damn things tearing.