I saw the beginning of that and thought, hoo boy, yowza. As a jez commenter, I am always trying to look cool by using the latest slangs.

Oh! And my Go Bag came in super handy when I left that psycho, too :-) $585, passport, 3 days of clothes

My husband was also my high school sweetheart for 3 years, and back in the day he was a super prolific love letter writer - 5-8 page letters, written on scrolled paper & tied with red ribbons - they were FANTASTIC. We broke up & went our separate ways for 10 years, during which time I married another [really horrible]…

Things You Should Have In Your Closet By The Time You Are 30:

I live alone in a rather large, Edwardian flat with 13 foot ceilings. When the bulbs burn out in my ceiling fixtures I will carry around a floor lamp from room to room. I plug it in and do my business and then move on, rather than just change the bulb. I did this once for a month straight before I finally pulled out…

Sometimes I like to randomly flop down with my tongue hanging out the side of my mouth and imagine what my chalk outline would look like if I died suddenly while folding the laundry or something.

Occasionally I follow that with slowly curling my fingers up like corpses do during rigor mortis then I quickly check out…

I don't know why I'm compelled to share this, but I am in the greys anyways, so who cares....

Inserting my cat's name into songs that I'm singing along to. "All The Scouty ladies! All the Scouty ladies!" "My Scoutaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun!" "Last Scout. Last Scout. For Scooooout." And since Kate Bush was mentioned, "Running up that Scout! Running up that Scooooout. With no Scoutleemmms"

I hold full, out-loud, long conversations by myself, pretending I'm a guest on WTF with Marc Maron. Sometimes I politely argue with him; sometimes we battle; sometimes I just charm him with my stories and wit. It's intensely self-indulgent and embarrassing and I love it. I would DIE if someone overheard me. I have a…

I'm recently divorced and living alone for the first time ever. It's AMAZING. My ex husband was super critical and I am experiencing freedom like I've never known.

Hi, I just had post this reply so you could see it in your notifications. It appears some asshole has hacked into your Kinja account and is posting stupid and unnecessary contrarian posts with unnecessary semantics arguments.

The food may not have been great, but that's an amazing experience and I'm jealous.

The allergy one makes me remember yet again why my brother and sister-in-law have a fondness for Disney.

I hope that poor boy was okay after his parents insisted on him eating that food even though it had gluten in it.

I was once in a "fancy" Chinese restaurant in Chicago for my birthday and they had just waxed the floors. EVERYONE was falling down. Servers, customers, everyone. It was bizarre and hilarious. The management was losing their minds over how many meals they were comping. I wiped out before I even got to my table. My…

Got into an argument last week because my husband put mayo in the mashed potatoes he made for us and he didn't say anything until after I'd eaten it.

Before I start, let me say I was a server for a decade, and I have nothing but the utmost respect for all service employees. But this story has become legendary in my family, so: Mr. Tigger and I moved for his job from the East Bay Area in CA to Austin, Texas. On our first date night after moving, we went out to…

me too. suddenly anti-free speech tbh

Too bad for Harry. Just missed the opportunity to get himself into a relationship with English royalty.