I want to take everyone who votes “homer” and walk them from home plate to the outfield fence. IT’S SO FUCKING FAR.

More people can dunk.

There are way more tall people in the world who only have to jump upwards a couple of feet, compared to people who have the strength, hand-eye coordination, and technique to hit a baseball high and far enough over a fence.

... as long as you’re white. You forgot the part where you absolutely need to be white.

Yeah, but really, we all live in Jacksonville, don’t we?

Kansas City is in Missouri. There is a small suburb also called Kansas City in Kansas, but when people think of Kansas City, they’re thinking of a place in Missouri.

I will brook no aspersions against Reeses, but will add that Trader Joe’s peanut butter cups are magnificent.

Every race has attractive women who want nothing to do with you.

Patrick has been fired for not referencing the extensive real-world history of ballistas being used to kill flame-breathing magical lizards the size of 747s.

I am definitely not a fan of how hard they are pushing Euron lately. They are hellbent on making him worse than Ramsay, but it’s just not possible to do at the sped up pace we have reached. Characters like Joffrey and Ramsay terrorized people for seasons and we had our hatred built up appropriately, but they expect us…

The rumor floating around the ‘net is that someone tipped Euron off, and the obvious candidate is the Queen of Thorns, who just delivered her “you don’t need to rely on your subordinates” spiel to Dany.

Racism? At an Indians game?

Oh I’m fully willing to accept that on the part of the Rams this is pure incompetence. I wouldn’t expect them to make a sound football decision any other way than except by accident. But it ain’t like all those other teams forgot that Kaepernick, while not great, is still a hell of a better player than some other guys…

As a Lions fan, Orlovsky shouldn’t even ride the pine for any team in the NFL. People always talk about the value of “an experienced quarterback backing up your starter”, which if that experienced quarterback weren’t dogshit, I might agree. Like if you had a Payton Manning, or a Tom Brady, or even the situation in…

This all could have been avoided if the truck had a gun.

Nothing inspires confidence quite like a billionaire liquidating assets.

Sorry, should have been more clear.

The better question for me is which movie doesn’t make me cry. I am completely incapable of not crying at any sappy scene whatsoever. There are so many movies I refuse to watch just because I don’t want to end up crying. Moonlight? No chance. Manchester by the Sea? Nope. King Kong (any version)? GTFO.

Reese’s Pieces is supposed to rhyme. So that is how you pronounce Reese’s. Those Ree-Sees people are probably the same ones who wear Sixburgh shirts everywhere.

mystified or bored or otherwise deterred by a simple screen