I want Hillary to appoint Obama to Scalia’s empty spot.

This makes too much sense, but I don’t want to watch Obama get shit on by worthless trailer park trash. I’ve dealt with that for 8 fucking years.

Children are invariably monsters anyway. At least yours are monsters about something good.

I was all set to make a joke until I got to the threats to kill her and himself.

What? Those uniforms are white and gold.

I saw a guy eating bits of his peeling sunburn on the El in Chicago, and watched some bro - who was totally rolling - eat some of his boogers and smear the rest on the windows of a train into Queens.

As someone who played the position for over a decade, this is really, really good. Makes things pretty clear to a layperson and covers a lot of the way the position has changed even since I left the sport close to 10 years ago. I don’t think there’s a position in the rest of sports that continues to evolve the way…

You really should be able to just THIS IS SPARTA those people down the escalator so they learn not to do it again.

My three most memorable are from my first year, before I became an inured and jaded New Yorker.

For whom are the court battles “embarrassing”? I am not embarrassed. Are you? It damn well isn’t the NFL, because - while “corporations are people, my friend” - I am pretty sure they can’t, you know, feel. And, even if they could, I am like, positive that the NFL would be the kind of person that doesn’t feel shame.…

I know it’s going to sound creepy, and likely depressing, but given the nature of girl’s/women’s gymnastics I’m genuinely shocked it took this long to happen.

Yet another hardship in the life of the poor, discriminated-against, middle-aged, white male sports reporter

what the fuck is jim halpert doing here

"The hottest club in New York is 1 Oak. It's got everything: Fracases, bleeding Hoosiers, Hawks in cuffs, police tape......."

Spouse of an Addiction Therapist here: Addicts relapse on AVERAGE 9 times.

'as the attitude in the restaurant industry of "look at me, I'm so edgy and cool by being racist" could be described as "pervasive" in the same way such a word could be used to describe the Earth as "oxygen-rich." '

As though it is a drink and not a Jackass stunt.

This dress code will perfectly suit the type of person who goes out to the Budweiser Brewhouse.

Not necessarily. Anyone over 25 who is a mother, thinks boot-cut jeans and boleros are still cool and posts incessantly about their children and their ladies night out to the local Applebee's is ancient. for that matter, I think they are too and I am over 30.

I went to college at NWMSU and lived in Maryville for five years. I now live in NYC and watching this unfold all over the internet is really surreal.