Dear New Deadspin Owners:

Ha! Screw you Rangers! Thanks to Ross, the Blue Jays will be waiting there in 4 or 5 years to flip some more bats fer yas!

“Skydome”, please. Fuck Ted Rogers’ statue forever.

Plus, I hate to think of Stroman suffering the back alley abortion that is the Mets. 

Yeah. I am not a total baseball nerd but not sure why the returns seem a little uh, lame. The kids look to be headed in the right direction though so I am optimistic that Tronno will have something to cheer about in a year or two. Maybe they assume that they can pick up a Keuchal or Kimbrel via free agency when the…

I'd give your comment a star but there is nothing about this situation I can 'Like'. But I totally appreciate your pragmatism.

Very true. I was no fan as I was all in on Jacques Villeneuve but still respected the guy a lot as his driving accomplishments are unequivocally great. Nobody deserves to be disabled somehow later in life (as with Alzheimers or cancer, say) as it is extremely difficult for loved ones and the individual. He had a lot…

Oh, definitely true. I usually listened to games on the radio but even that became difficult. I guess he's a Metropolitan now. More concerned with the lousy returns on this and Sanchez trades. Why bother for pocket lint and an expired bus transfer? They both had a year remaining.

It is sad that this the truest thing but people are expecting some miracle reversal as though he were trying to win a race after starting from pit lane. I just hope he is comfortable and is able to gain enjoyment from what surrounds him.

Indeed; such a shame to lose the phrase “seven strong” from the English language.

“Twatman"

I didn’t watch a lot of WCW back in the day but seeing Cornette was always great; he is a Piper-level cartoon.

I had bed bugs one time and just as they were becoming noticeable, the apartment next door had a fire and the occupants of the building had to move out due to the damage. This had to be the one time someone felt lucky that they had had a fire.

A couple of years ago, my parents were having problems with voles (like a mouse) wrecking the lawn (they dig these long tunnels just under the snow that kill the grass while it is dormant and eat new growth in the garden/flowerbeds/shrubs). One afternoon in the summer, mother cornered one with a shovel in a downspout…

Thank you for pointing out this plus grande dipstick.

To find out, you will just have to order kegs from small local brewers until a guy shows up in an Astro with your keg.

Fuck Kawhi Leonard and fuck his organization and fuck Ballmer's wet panties.

He's dripping wet in his panties.

As a Jays fan, I’m not convinced that Stroman is as great as he thinks he is. 2.99 & 99 k’s is pretty hawt on the 2019 team but have a hard time recalling when he won a game through sheer tyranny of will. Maybe I don't appreciate him enough because the club is not competitive. 

“’I kept hot dogs on the wine racks!’, he shrieked and then attempted to stop the crew filming his home. He quickly gave up when defending became difficult and slowly left his former home.”