I'm sure they'll be heartbroken to hear that.

Oh, I love these!

But what does it all mean!? [the camera circles around me as numbers and symbols fly across the screen. I stand in front of a cork board with pictures tacked to it and string running between them. I run up the steps of the library of congress. Wearing white gloves, I open an ancient looking book.]

“Hey dad, your head dip has gotten out of control. You don’t need to be the longest hitter on tour, just get it in the fairway. I mean, look at Jordan Speith. Gaga goo goo. I’m a baby.”