What about these timless classics:

Dodgers games: 99.9% apathetic fair-weather-fans who just go to games to take an Instagram pic, 0.1% maniacal knife-wielding gang members who want to literally murder you.

Small 6-Year-Old Child: Can I have Cat in the Hat?

Weird how every time some new person criticizes Trump, the first response is always, “I don’t like Trump, but this person is even worse!”

I don’t like the Trumps, but wow this librarian is a piece of work.

So on that note, and full disclosure: I don’t/won’t/can’t watch this ... what the hell is this Lyle Menendez thing? Does she have a “Calling Lyle” segment every day like 60 Minutes used to have Andy Rooney???

It’s been a long time since I’ve watched daytime tv...is it typical to have hosts don a turtleneck and casually dial up murderers or are these Kelly Today segments exceptionally bizarro?

1. It says exactly what it is at the top of every installment.

LOL, I guess any black will do.

Just do two judges (Perry and Bryan), and give them a Roman consul-style veto over the other’s decisions. Every time that happens, have an air horn blare and flash a sign saying “DEADLOCK!”

Maybe Ben Carson could step up to the plate.

Um, she is 20. She is a long way from “needing a surrogate.”

He’s one day closer to the crushing inevitability of death, just like the rest of us.

No, it turns out that my time in Bottle Hell was only beginning, because now my family is firmly within the clutches of Big Sports Bottle, and I cannot escape.

For real though, why doesn’t he make his kids do all this stuff. It’s their water bottles! A preteen can surely wash and dry their own shit in the sink!!! JFC

Counterpoint: There’s a reason why the aliens from Signs haven’t shown up yet.

Why Your Team Sucks articles, nothing.

Rams will stay for at least a decade since they’re getting a stadium. Charger will go to whatever city offers them the most money for a stadium.

So what’s the end game here, both teams pack up and leave again in like 5 years? We end up with the Mexico City Rams and London Chargers?