That was interesting, but you left off the most important part:

She has two au-pairs per the Slate interview, so I don’t think the household manager would be doing much actual nannying. Also, the kids are upper elementary so there shouldn’t be much hand’s on work with them. It would be schlepping them to/from school, to/from afterschool activities, and some homework support. 

I’m just glad I’m not the only one, barely holding it together.

OK, now having learned more of the situation....it’s

Sounds like your childhood was typical.

Hi, my name is Mary Mallon and I come highly recommended. Where do I apply?

What? No Luge lessons, meat helmets or summers in Rangoon?

That's fine if she wants a household manager to manage the other staff, but it seems like she wants one person to be a household manager and nanny. 

That first bullet, man. As someone who was involved with childcare, I knew so many wealthy parents who were constantly playing “learning” games with their kids which basically amounted to them quizzing them until they burnt out and shut down entirely.

“Our family is human”

That is the part that is really nuts, because you are required to meet with the au Pair once a week, and the cook, maid, and assorted gardeners once a month.

I read the full job posting expecting to find it 100% ridiculous, but I can only find it about 80% ridiculous because halfway through I realized this describes a (very bougie and ambitious) version of what I do as a mom.

Surely the Japanese are already building a robot that can do all this and much much more (there’s got to be a ‘housekeeper’ or ‘major domo’ for everyone’s tastes and needs).

Yeah, this is basically all the tasks of being a parent.  I think she forgot eventually helping out with college applications.

The last person to hold the position, one Mr. Barrows, was caught stealing and dismissed.

Where is Richard Pryor when you need him:

As well as fucking up their apostrophes.

I need an investigative reporting piece on the last person to hold this job and their firing over mis-quantifying the fish:

The future is now, plebs. Enjoy.

“a thousand-word screed describing all the duties they expect from their five day a week “Household manager/cook/nanny.” “