I think if 2016 has taught us anything, it’s that extremely bad hair is not a deterrent to grossly defrauding the public.

There’s a typo in your article. You forgot an “O” in “doomed” in the second paragraph.

He probably isn’t that bad. There area subtle nuances at play when works are translated into English from the original Canadian.

I knew this show was going to be shit when Simmons cut a promo declaring that Tupac was better than Biggie as if anyone cared about either rapper in the past 10 years. I can not wait to not watch Bill’s take on why Boston the band had a better upside the Kansas and how every song that the Rolling Stones did would be…

I’m no doctor, but I’d advise you not to let yourself get hit in the head on a daily basis the next 15 years. That and lay of the cocaine, HGH, PCP,steroids, and horse tranquilizers.

You cleaned an open wound in a strip club bathroom? How many infections do you have?

Typical hotshot corner who thinks he doesn’t need a safety.

I’ve accidentally shot myself in a strip club before but I just went to the bathroom and cleaned up a bit.

Hanging out at a park at 3:40 in the morning, eh? I mean, I know I love me some monkey bars and those swings are great, but....

Maybe he was under extreme Burress.

That’s not actually blood in uncooked red meat. It’s a mixture of water, myogloblin proteins, and the joy that is extracted from vegans and vegetarians when they decide to stop eating meat.

I was born in 76, my brother in 89, and there is a world of difference between my latchkey, independent, throwing-rocks-at-birds childhood than how he was raised - “playing” baseball on YMCA teams, teachers praising each and every one of his art pieces as good (when they were crap) and seeing his classmates be coddled…

#NotAllMillennials

Here’s my message to Bernie supporters, the precious snowflake Millennials:

I completely disagree with the opening sentence (and, thus, the thesis of this entire piece).

Waiter, there’s a pube in my soup. Actually, it’s a lot of pubes. I’m not sure there’s actually any soup in here. Did you just bring me a bowl of pubes?! I don’t care if it’s the “house special!”

Shit, man! This isn't any big deal! I have the same diet/regimen, except with words like "Pop Tarts", "donuts", "double cheeseburgers" and "fried chicken" substituted for all those other ones. Oh, and without those 'workouts' and 'training' things. That shit just gets in the way of eating.

Probably the hospital.

1. Fuck you 2. You are lactose intolerant and should stop eating dairy 3. See point 1

For once the Browns won’t even have to draft a quarterback to guarantee themselves a bunch of picks.