Oh just SAY IT SARAH. It's THE JEWS who are ruining Christmas, right?? It's Joseph Scroogeberg and his dreidel-spinnin', Jesus-killin' comrades!

It could be worse. They could have Miley as Liesl and Bieber as Rolf....

Pictured: Melanie. And her OPINIONS.

To be fair, lurking ominously is kind of his thing.

I love that Lorde dresses exactly like I did when I was 16.

Your hair looks so good today! I can't believe you were going to get it wet!

Now I really want to see him in Into the Woods. "AAAAAGONY......"

My first birth wasn't so bad. Second was excruciating. Two words: epidural failure.

I was at YSD with Lupita and am so incredibly happy for her. Do we know each other?

Yes! I gave birth three weeks ago and was back in the ER when my son was 10 days old because my uterine contractions were so painful they thought my appendix had burst. I didn't have this with my first kid.

Lol. We say the same thing about our kids.

Any relation to Badger?

Tina Fey: "The definition of a 'crazy' woman is one who keeps talking when no one wants to fuck her anymore."

Why thank you. And they were :-)

Aaaaaaah I made the top 10!!! I'm famous!!!!!

My God. Unbelievable.

Totally. Every year the Yale Afro-American Student Association has its Halloween party and there are like eight cop cars on the street outside, for no reason whatsoever other than BLACK KIDS CONGREGATING (hold me!). Ugh.

"Illegitimate births"? You mean like Jesus?

I was studying abroad on 9/11 and came back to the US for a visit in November. I remember how shocked I was at how quickly it had become commercialized - commemorative t-shirts, calendars, and all sorts of crap everywhere. Ugh.

This reminds me of the character of the professor in The History Boys who all the boys know is a pedophile and will molest them if they agree to let him give them a ride home, but they just kind of shrug it off because he's old and kindly and a great teacher. In fact, the guy is made into a martyr/hero by the end.…