Lol dry cleaning is on me, but if you don’t mind instead of covering the cost i’ll donate the same amount it costs you to an org that fights climate change. Not “sex in the Cruz household” climate change, but the actual issue which threatens our futures.

It was the 90 pound mole surgically removed from Meghan’s ass

This dickhead should be more familiar with climate change than most. Every time he asks his wife if he can do sex to her, the climate changes from sunny skies to a cloudy forecast with no chance of getting ass.

These are the details I come to Deadspin for, despite probably (eh, definitely) being able to find on Google. Thanks for the info, and wow. 

Or he can just save the 54K and continue having his son/daughter/nephew/niece/whoever the fuck cut his hair 

For anyone who’s watched The Boys on Prime, I’d argue #1 is the poor dolphin who got flung from the back of the van through the front windshield and splattered in to oblivion. Poor dolphin.

Great name, even better sitcom

Definitely has a “I know a lot of guys say this but that stripper was TOTALLY in to me, man” face. 

Or 10K

Don’t have much to add because this was a well thought out response regardless where people fall on M4A (and, frankly, how to get shit done in Congress in general). Well said.

lmao random but amazing

You ever been to the house? Shit is nuts. Has almost 50 fireplaces from what I recall, not to mention upwards of 30 bedrooms and all the glass in the world.

Great post, ya yella bellied egg sucker

Trump upon hearing about China’s most recent chess move: “Go fish! Your move, suckers”.

“6 months?? Pssht, you humans think even one year is long! Try 7 and then come talk”.

That and the fact the “56% of independents think he’s racist” doesn’t mean 56% of independents CARE he’s racist.

Clearly she backed up in to her privilege, and then when confronted by the officer she tried to use her privilege as backup.

Swedgen

In his mind, Trump seeing “he wants lower prices on prescription drugs for seniors” is an anagram for “leave system as is or my adderral prescription is done for”

Upon reading this scathing editorial, Elijah came.