its true that sitting with your legs parallel and together feels weird for a man. but thats why jesus created us with the ability to cross them. except that a lot of men think thats girly. except wealthier men have been and continue to do it (or maybe it just seems more acceptable when you have a suit on, idk. what i…

i was so hoping a third party would come in and complete the scene. this totally makes my day

oh yeah, thats it

“Everything is high school.”

will someone tell me why i smoke these damn things

i realize its not equivalent, but when it comes to “in the media,” the men have to wear make up, spanx and have perfect hair as well. and i too am glad i have no pressure in my life to look perfect!

wow. lol

i did color guards at nfl games when i was in the military. they even made us pay for parking. lol

2 things: 1, i grew up finding andy kaufman hilarious, so i think i get satire. and B, im a man and i was icked out by this. the irony is that its precisely because of finding this site that i am icked out by this. so everythings feeling kind of upside down for me today.

i get that part. i mean the team executives lying to our face thing.

it still kind of blows my mind that the pro sport that is the most brutal on the body is pretty much the only one without guaranteed contracts. or has that changed?

as a niner fan, ive been dealing with this for a couple years now. its fucking nauseating. Very Rich Men have never been saints. i get that. but whats been going on the last few years feels like a whole different thing. or maybe im just now noticing it.

why hasnt oprah done something this (or has she)? shes a billionaire. she could move this shit forward by leaps and bounds all by herself.

yes it *should* be clearer. but it wasnt. thats the entire reason it failed as satire.

so i guess were now at, what, tripling down? the vast majority of your readership is telling you it didnt work. i cant see how basically telling them theyre stupid and to fuck off is a great response.

i havent seen much internet outrage here. i have, however, seen a number of women on the verge of tears because the article made them feel shitty about their bodies.

in retrospect, the SF comment was my only clue that it was satire, because ive never even heard of anyone who finds it “awful.” but i just figured, oh, shes from ny....

so somebody posts an article which not a few women find hurtful and the defense is that it’s satire? where have i heard that before....

ive heard it so much as the first answer to everything the last few years, i feel like the answer to income inequality and ISIS is to eliminate dairy and gluten. sigh. that said, yeah, just use the brush next to the toilet, dude.

dear jezebel,