is it safe to google “bagel scooping” at work. because i dont know what that is.

you had me until the SF hate

so youre telling me to eat off paper plates? what?

Where I live, yes (though I use Lyft, not Uber). It’s generally exactly half of what a cab costs.

im not sure which is grosser, carly fiorina running for president or carly fiorina sexting.

This is why we have bars.

I’m assuming these were team-issued phones or something? Or did the NFL just hit up the NSA or what?

i think the premise is that homoism is whats causing the jihadis to jihad us.

my fav is the one nation under god, not the 9th circuit sign. arent these the same people that are constantly wetting their pants about the constitution?

intervention? gross.

This is why the only things allowed on twitter should be breaking news and Nihilist Arby’s.

If you haven’t seen the PBS thing called The Buddha with Richard Gere narrating, it’s absolutely beautiful.

I don’t think it’s “inane football jargon.” I think it’s a polite way of saying, “Anyone remember Barret Robbins?” I just hope this kid has a good support network and takes care of himself.

“ (although I kind of love the bitterness in his tone whenever he says the word, “Frank”).”

Yeah, as much as we love to imprison as many people as possible for as long as possible in this country, you’d think holding on to the rapist/kidnapper would be a no brainer.

I just got caught up on these episodes and I totally don’t get why she stayed. I mean, yeah, J is way hotter than F, but she’s LITERALLY BACK IN THE 18TH CENTURY. Maybe it makes more sense in the books? She contemplates her wedding rings before touching the stones. So, OK, it’s a Love So Strong that you’re literally…

It’s the regularity of articles like this (not that I disagree with them) that make me chuckle when I read things like the following (unless it was meant sarcastically/ironically and I missed it):

I remember when my youth pastor played some Zepplin song backwards and said, “Listen, right there: HE WILL GIVE YOU 666.” That was why we were supposed to burn all the rock and roll records. He never did explain what “he will give you 666” meant.

I can’t believe the Raiders are celebrating by wearing Saints uniforms. That’s seriously confusing (I thought you were making it up).

I have this theory that Denise hates her brother so much that she’s been deliberately trying to destroy the team he loves so much since she took over, what, 15 years ago. The success of the Harbaugh years was purely accidental and Jed has been sternly warned that if anything like it happens again, she’ll take the team…