Reading and understanding this article requires way too much knowledge of Adam Sandler’s career than anyone should have.

There’s still a shot but they’ll probably pass

...starring Mahershala Ali and Viggo Mortensen...

Exactly.

If you literally CAN’T do your job then you’re in the wrong profession, my dude.

Are you for what they did to Kavanaugh? Are you for having your government run by a mob or are you for the rule of law?

Just when I thought I couldn’t like Simone more.

This verbatim a submission I sent in to My Favorite Murder as a hometown murder story. It wasn’t picked up by Georgia and Karen but maybe it will get seen here:

And you don’t realize you forgot to close the blinds and it’s pitch black outside...

Okay okay okay!
here’s my story - it’s a brief one!

They need to compile a single post with all the past winners.

Miss Americae was my favorite part

OMFG LINDSAY GRAHAM SHUUUUUUUUUUUUT UP! 

EXACTLY. I was like, “I have all these lemon LaCroix at the back of the fridge because they suck. Wonder what happens if I put them in my Chameleon cold brew?”

I’M SOOOOORRRRRRYYYYYY....

We were horrible children, just took it for granted.  Never helped or protested. Merrick Garland, and who knows what else because we weren't paying attention.

Fallon did just have a great segment with Cardi B last week–oh wait, that was because his other guest did most of the interviewing. 

Never forget.

That’s a weird metric for greatness.

Seriously. They should totally start doing that.